In the car park of Morrisons, Ashfield’s parliamentary candidate Lee Anderson is making Reform leader Nigel Farage sign a giant placard reading “SIGN HERE IF YOU WANT YOUR COUNTRY BACK”. Only then will Nigel be allowed to wang on about the adjacent statues commemorating the bodyline Ashes series. At least, I think those are the rules of whichever arcane election campaign game we’re playing today. Either way, a bronze Donald Bradman is facing local boy Harold Larwood outside the supermarket and, now Nigel has signed the card, he explains that Bradman “was the best of all time in any sport”. Possible. Then again, he was never going to say Ali.
To Kirkby in Ashfield, anyway. By the time he got here – the yard-arm, obviously – Farage had pulled out of his scheduled BBC leaders’ interview for Tuesday night (possibly related to Hitler; more on him later) and had two objects thrown at him by some utter idiot in Barnsley who is unlikely to open the bowling for England any time soon. No doubt he’ll throw some objects at himself once he works out that he’s probably given Nigel a poll boost.
