It’s not very often that you hear of parents being traumatized by their kids. Usually, it’s the other way around. But in certain cases, children can stir up a lot of problems in the family and get so out of control that they become difficult to manage.
The kids who cause problems don’t always know when to stop and how their actions can affect the other children in the family. A poster on Reddit who was going through something similar shared exactly how they stood up to their truant sister and the aftermath of that confrontation.
More info: Reddit
Sibling accused of being the golden child tells sister there was no favoritism and parents only trusted them more because they weren’t a drain on the family
Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual photo)
The poster was trusted by their parents and given more freedom than compared to their sister, who would have to be constantly bailed out of trouble or whatever “mess” she created
Image credits: Kindel Media (not the actual photo)
When the poster entered their last year of college, their father gave them his old car, which is when the sister exclaimed, “of course the golden child gets a car”
Image credits: Hall_Known
This led to a confrontation between the siblings where the poster told their sister that they weren’t a golden child, they just weren’t a pain in the butt or a drain on the family like the sister
The Original Poster (OP) is 21 years old, and their sister is 23. In the comments of the post, the author mentioned that their sister was living at home with their parents, and they were living on campus and visiting home for Easter when the incident happened. The siblings do not have a good relationship with one another and have been treated differently by their parents because of the sister’s troublesome behavior.
Besides what was mentioned in the post, the author shared some other instances of the sister’s defiant behavior, saying she had “snuck out, stolen the car, tried to fight multiple staff at school, bully charges, stealing [from the] store, breaking things, tantrums, physical fights.” All of these incidents made her parents trust her even less. When they gave her chances to prove herself, she would always mess it up.
The sister considered her sibling to be the golden child because they were trusted more and given a lot of freedom by their parents. A golden child is actually a term used to refer to a child who is exceptional or perfect at everything. Usually, these children are put on a pedestal, and this can lead to animosity between siblings. The sister must have felt like her parents did not care for her as much as they did for their other kid.
OP’s perspective was different, and this is what they had to say in the comments: “I literally watched them break their backs for her. Even if she doesn’t think they did in her mind, I have clear evidence they did. She was in therapy, so yes my parents did help her out.” It seems like the parents did want to help their daughter improve her life and get on a better path.
Some commenters tried to excuse the sister’s behavior, saying that it might be a result of trauma. But the poster hit back at these statements in the comments, saying: “Trauma doesn’t give her a free pass, would it be more understandable sure but it’s doesn’t excuse it. I don’t get why she doesn’t understand that her actions greatly affect how she was treated.”
Image credits: Alexander Popovkin (not the actual photo)
The sister’s behavior and repeated offenses could be rooted in some deep underlying issues. Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD), which is a childhood mental health condition, can also affect adults. There are many similarities between ODD characteristics and the sister’s behavioral issues, such as:
- Recurring temper tantrums
- Repeated arguments with adults
- Refusing to obey rules
- Deliberately trying to annoy others
- Looking to blame others for their wrongdoing
Although the OP did not mention whether their sister was diagnosed with any psychological condition, it might explain why she struggles to control her behavior. Whether these problems are due to mental health issues or pure defiance, the parents have to face the brunt of it. Behavioral problems in children can increase parental stress and frustration, often leading to depression, anxiety, and other mental health struggles. It can even strain the couple’s relationship.
According to Shoreside Therapies, “children with difficulty regulating emotions and behavior often develop negative self-concepts, low self-esteem, and impulsive behavior. These behaviors can greatly affect family dynamics, including relationships with siblings, parents, and extended family.” That’s exactly what the author mentioned in their post, stating that the sister’s behavior made her parents trust her less and even ruined their sibling relationship.
The sister did not seem to want to take responsibility for her actions. She ran away from the confrontation once the OP mentioned that she had been a drain on the family. The post received 10k upvotes and over 600 comments. People shared similar personal examples of their family members who would never own up to their actions and only go about creating problems.
Do you think the poster was a jerk for calling their sister a pain in the butt? Let us know how you would have handled the situation.
Netizens did not feel like the poster did anything wrong, and many people mentioned that they had been through something similar with their deadbeat or problematic siblings
Image credits: Tim Douglas (not the actual photo)
