What? England are in the final of a World Cup? How on earth did that happen?
Skill, obsessive organisation, one of the best managers in the world, a bit of luck and some champagne football, my friend.
The England women’s football team – known as the Lionesses – are in a World Cup final for the first time in their history, after Sarina Wiegman’s side beat co-hosts Australia 3-1 on Wednesday in Sydney.
When they face Spain on Sunday, it will be the first time England – either women or men – have been in the final since 1966, and we all know what happened that time.
What was that then? Seriously????
Gotcha! Anyway, where can I watch this historic match?
The game, which takes place at Stadium Australia in Sydney at 11:00 BST, will be broadcast live on both the BBC and ITV. BBC Radio 5 Live and BBC Sounds will have radio commentary, but fans are disappointed that many councils have failed to provide big screens for the big game, despite a peak audience of 7.3 million tuning in to watch the semi-final.
So are these Lionesses going to end England’s 57 years of hurt? (I’m getting into this now.)
Before the competition, there were doubts about how far England could go after injuries to key players including striker Beth Mead and captain Leah Williamson. But with only the final to come, England are – get this – the favourites. They have adapted from the team that won the Euros last year, and shown the depth of talent across the squad, losing only one game since Sarina Wiegman replaced Phil Neville as manager in September 2021.
The Lionesses have won four of their last six games against Spain in all competitions, and after an average start to the competition, they have improved in every game. Against Australia they hit a ruthless stride which could – if they manage to keep it up – see them raise the World Cup on Sunday.
Don’t write off Spain though. Despite a 4-0 defeat against Japan and a turbulent extra-time win against the Netherlands in the quarters, they have the threat of teenage wunderkind Salma Paralluelo, and with their technical skill and sophisticated passing patterns, they will present a real challenge.
But don’t the Spanish team all hate their manager?
Hate is a strong word. But there is – to put it mildly – some history between Spain’s manager Jorge Vilda and his players. Almost a year ago 15 players submitted identical emails to the Spanish Federation (RFEF) saying they would not play for Vilda unless “significant” concerns over their “emotional state” and health were addressed. The RFEF shrugged and told them to get back to work. A few have returned to the fold, most haven’t. But anyway, taking a strong line seems to have worked – as the players’ post-match celebrations have demonstrated.
Oh that’s fine then.
You’re really well behind the pace, aren’t you. When two-time Ballon d’Or winner Alexia Putellas was substituted from Spain’s semi-final on Tuesday, she rejected Vilda’s hand shake. And during post-match celebrations Spain’s manager has, at times, been left looking like a sad dad being ignored by his kids at a festival, clapping aimlessly on his own as players embraced each other. Compare that with the now customary bear hug that England captain Millie Bright engulfs Sarina Wiegman with after every victory, and you can start to get a little smug.
Enough of the psychodrama! Tell me what to say about the England players when I rock up to the pub on Sunday!
You could start off with something like “England are a tight-knit and highly organised unit, with every player vital to the team”. In defence, captain Millie Bright has been a rock, while Alex Greenwood’s possession, crosses and line-breaking passes have been vital to England’s play. Barcelona full-back Lucy Bronze – who was part of the team beaten in the 2015 and 2019 World Cup semi‑finals – acts as a talismanic, unifying force.
If you really want to sound like you know what you are talking about, you can discuss the fact that Wiegman has a “welcome problem on her hands” – which of her attackers to play.
Lauren James is back for selection, after a two-match ban after her sending off against Nigeria, but can she unseat Manchester United attacker Ella Toone, who scored a 36th minute piledriver against Australia?
And who would bench Manchester City forward Lauren Hemp – who got player of the match against Australia, and delivered a sublime 86th minute no-look pass for the third goal. Or Alessia Russo, whose precision finish finally silenced the Australian fans? With such a dilemma, there is only one course of action: in Wiegman We Trust.
She seems very good, this Wiegman woman, bet she gets paid a lot.
Funny you should mention that – she does, reportedly about £400,000 a year. Not as much, though, as the bloke’s coach, Gareth Southgate, whose salary is thought to be around the £5m mark. When Mark Bullingham, the Football Association chief executive, was asked if it was time Wiegman had a statue, he said: “She can have whatever she wants, she’s incredible.” He didn’t mean equal pay though, apparently. When pushed on the subject, Bullingham said equal pay between the managers was the ambition but added: “I would say that Sarina is, within the market she operates, well paid.”
Well, at least the players don’t need to worry about money, as we all live in an egalitarian utopia now? Right?
Hahahahahahahahahaha, hooooooo, haaaaa … sorry, can you pass me that rib? In fact, Fifa boosted the women’s prize fund by 226%, to £86m, for Australia-New Zealand 2023, but the men’s prize fund for Qatar 2022 was £346m. Argentina got £33m in prize money last year; this year’s winners will get £3.38m. By comparison, Southgate’s men earned England £13.38m – despite getting knocked out in the quarter-finals.
England women’s team are also in a dispute with the FA about bonuses after the FA said it would not be paying bonuses on top of the individual fees set by Fifa. The players said they were “disappointed” not to resolve the dispute before the competition, and paused discussions. But if everything comes together on Sunday, they may think it’s time to ask again.
Can you stop banging on and focus on the big game now?
Yes! COME ON ENGLAND!
