England want to be fun but we take ourselves too seriously

‘There is a section of the England following – fans and media – who are too quick to anger; for whom fury is a currency.’ Illustration: Gary Neill/The Guardian

When was the moment you thought it was going to be one of those England games? 13min 29sec for me, Clive. John Stones overhits a relatively straightforward crossfield pass to Kieran Trippier. The makeshift left‑back (he’s right-footed in case you hadn’t been made aware) performs the classic “right idea” applause over his head as the ball sails out for a throw-in to Slovenia.

Thirteen and a half minutes is a little impatient. But this quickly became one of those games where you start wondering if you floss enough, or if your pension is invested ethically. This was 13 and a half minutes on top of the 90 against Denmark and at least 45 against Serbia. Game after game of footballing atrophy. Elite players degenerating in front of your eyes.