A dopey thief attempted to rob a Post Office wearing one of Sainsbury’s trademark bright orange plastic bags to conceal his identity.
Jed James, 29, cut a big slit in the carrier so he could see where he was going, giving the game away.
The dim-witted criminal demanded cash and cigarettes from a worker behind the till in Cowley, Oxfordshire, on August 23.
Wearing the bag, he told her “Do you want me to show you - I’ve got a needle and a knife and you know what I’m going to do if you don’t give me cash and cigarettes.”
The woman behind the counter informed the Valium addict he was being ‘stupid’ and pointed out there were ‘cameras everywhere’.
Prosecutor Cathy Olliver told Oxford Crown Court on Monday: “He said ‘got cameras?’ and ran out of the Post Office without achieving his aim of [stealing] cash and cigarettes.”
Police spotted James at around 5pm – six hours after the bungled robbery bid.
An officer followed the would-be thief to a Co-operative where he caught him trying to pocket chicken breasts.
It emerged that, earlier that day, the defendant had made three trips into the Co-op.
James, of Wolvercote, Oxon, pleaded guilty to attempted theft and two counts of attempted robbery.
Gareth James, mitigating, said his client had effectively no memory of the events, but accepted it was him on the CCTV.
He described the crimes as an ‘uncharacteristic spree of offending while under the influence of drugs and alcohol, which he realises he cannot repeat and needs to address’.
He had taken Valium and drunk alcohol before the incidents, as he was addicted to both substances.
It was made clear that James did not have a needle or knife on him when he committed the offences, despite his claims to the shop assistants.
Judge Ian Pringle KC jailed James for two-and-a-half years.
