DEAR ABBY: My best friend “Owen’s” wife, “Shirley,” is a narcissist, and she’s driving everyone away from him. They have been married for 10 years. I’ve known Owen since high school. He has always been a quiet, easygoing guy. Shirley is a nightmare. She has berated him at work and has left him by himself on holidays, including birthdays. She orders him around, and she runs everything without hardly paying for anything. I am divorced and I’ve been through it.
I don’t know how to tell Owen that there’s a safety net for him. I know telling him his wife is a crazy narcissist and he should leave isn’t the answer. She has berated me for “getting in their marriage.” My friend is afraid he has no support if he leaves because Shirley has alienated him from all of his friends, and the only family he has are his parents and sister, who live many miles away. She has pushed me away from him as well. What can I say to Owen to make him understand that there are people here who are just waiting for him to ask for help without his feeling I am pressuring him? — HAS HIS BACK IN FLORIDA
