Danny Dyer has spoken candidly about almost losing his family after turning to drugs when he felt he had "lost" who he was.
The EastEnders star said he had "become a sort of cartoon character" playing at being Danny Dyer and ended up with an empty feeling inside.
The 45-year-old admitted to going down the wrong path after becoming famous, adding he was "weak" and eventually knew he had to get help to turn his life around.
"Fame never suited me. I was always f***ing gonna be going down the wrong path. So I lost the plot for many years and I was a f***ing lunatic.
"I became a sort of a cartoon character. I created it, don’t get me wrong. I got wrapped up in that and I sort of lost who I was, really," he told Jamie Winstone on her podcast Greatest Night Ever.
Danny, who plays Mick Carter in EastEnders, added: "I was doing s**t loads of f***ing drugs. I was searching for something. There was a hole in me.
"I was wounded. I was vulnerable because I was, but of course I couldn’t play vulnerable because I’m playing Danny Dyer, whatever that is."
The actor said he had been awful to his partner, Jo, and said he needed to sort himself out after becoming weak.
Danny and Jo met as kids, growing up on the same council estate in East London. They had daughter Dani when they were just 18. The couple split up shortly after Dani's birth.
Danny and Jo later reconciled and went on to have another daughter, Sunnie, and a son, Arty.
He said he had become scared of losing his children and didn't want that to happen.
"OK, this is it, you’re gonna lose all this. You’re gonna be a shadow of the man that you are, you are gonna f*** everything up. You’re gonna have no relationship with your kids.
"This was my moment where I went, 'Right'," he said on the podcast.
Danny then made a desperate cry for help to producers of the BBC soap.
He said: "I turned around to the bosses of EastEnders and I said, 'Listen, I’ve gotta go somewhere. I’m going to die'. They was like, 'Oh, OK. Uh, right'. And so I sorted it myself and I paid for it myself."
Danny is set to leave Albert Square later this year, but has a host of other projects up his sleeve. He has already filmed a travel show with his Love Island star daughter Dani, as well as a new quiz on Netflix.
The pair also have a podcast called Sorted With The Dyers.
Danny recently sent fans wild as he starred in Kate Nash's new music video with his youngest daughter Sunnie.
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