It seems like some people just talk without thinking and brush off their hurtful comments as if they meant nothing by them. But while in some cases, confronting or ignoring might solve the problem, other times, it doesn’t.
For example, as one Redditor shared, when their in-laws kept making these unpleasant remarks and confronting them did next to nothing, they had to come up with another way to teach them a lesson. Soon, their plan, involving a warning about possible lead poisoning, sent their in-laws tearing apart their kitchen and buying new dishes. Scroll down to read the full story!
More info: Reddit
Some people seem to ignore the fact that their thoughtless comments hurt others, and if confronting them is not enough, you sometimes need to take it a step further
Image credits: Georgie Devlin (not the actual photo)
A couple was having dinner with their in-laws, who, as usual, were making hurtful comments and not thinking much of it
Image credits: Edgar Castrejon (not the actual photo)
Sometime later, the couple came across a post about possible lead poisoning damage in old fire-glazed dinnerware, similar to the set their in-laws had
Image credits: Geno0wl
They told them the info, but not without omitting the fact that their research into it was inconclusive, leading them to throw away all their plates and dishes and buy new ones
It was dinner as usual when the OP’s mother-in-law said some thoughtless yet hurtful things to the poster and their spouse. And just like every time they tried to talk to the in-laws about it, they explained that they didn’t mean it and it shouldn’t be a big deal.
At first, the married couple decided to ignore the parents, but it didn’t take long until they ran into an old post about fire-glazed dinnerware that contained a lot of lead, which can be severely poisonous. When the couple remembered that their in-laws had a very similar set at home, a malicious idea was born.
Even though their own research showed inconsistent results, with some saying that any lead is bad and others explaining that it’s only bad if it’s not sealed properly, the OP and their spouse put together a message for the in-laws, ramping up the risk and leaving out the part that says the danger might not be so real after all.
The parents went through everything sent to them. Last the OP heard, they became set on throwing away almost all of their dinner plates and serving dishes, replacing them with new ones, which can get quite pricey.
The commenters were very amused by the story, saying that this was truly peak petty revenge that couldn’t have been executed any better. In combination with the praise, there were also a lot of jokes and people explaining the real deal of the lead poisoning dangers, but overall, everybody was having a good time.
Image credits: Gustavo Fring (not the actual photo)
We don’t know exactly what the OP’s in-laws’ comments were. Still, the fact that their words hurt them, they were confronted about it, and still chose to ignore it multiple times clearly shows symptoms of a toxic family.
But toxicity in family relations isn’t always limited to just words. According to Samantha Vincenty of the Oprah Daily, it can actually be felt in quite a lot of different, terrible ways from the ones that are supposed to be some of the closest people to you.
Here are some of the things that toxic family members might do:
- Say brutally critical things about you;
- Use the silent treatment;
- Lie and deny things;
- Make generalizations when it comes to disagreements;
- Initiate conflict between family members;
- Change the subject so that you become the target;
- Make you feel bad for feeling bad;
- Rearrange the objectives once you reach them;
- Employ threats, profanity, or even violence;
- Use passive aggression against you;
- Spill your secrets;
- Gaslight you;
- Ignore your boundaries; and
- Blame you for things you were never responsible for.
Image credits: Brooke Lark (not the actual photo)
Fortunately, as Abigail Brenner of Psychology Today writes, such behavior is not impossible to deal with, even if it might be difficult and require additional effort.
It all begins with creating boundaries to let the people around you know what lines they shouldn’t cross. If they keep up with their behavior, the next best thing is to try to limit your contact with them and engage only as little as necessary.
When it comes to not engaging, you should take special care to avoid provocative and argumentative discussions that they might try to pull you into. To make it easier for yourself, it’s always good to surround yourself with supportive people who can become more of a family than your biological one. And if your friends are scarce, there are always support groups you can turn to.
Lastly, if things really do get bad enough, it might be best to consider cutting off all contact with the family and removing them from your life and yourself from theirs. This decision may be big and difficult, but, at times, such sacrifice might be necessary.
In the end, saying thoughtless things can hurt others without us realizing it. While we might not mean to make them feel bad, we can’t really take our words back. Fortunately, we can always apologize and try to mend these wounds. All it takes is not being too big to own up to your mistakes, which is certainly something the OP’s in-laws should consider.
What did you think? Have you ever had any similar situations with your own family? Tell us all about it in the comments below!
The commenters were very amused by the story and coined it perfect petty revenge
