A mum has divided opinion after asking whether she should take up an opportunity to work abroad for a university placement - which would mean leaving her young children for more than three months.
The student took to Mumsnet to share her situation on the popular Am I Being Unreasonable forum, saying that she had already received “mixed feedback” from family and friends. She explained that she was studying law and had been given the option to go on a work placement abroad for half of the academic year.
The single mum to two daughters aged seven and four went on to explain that she shares custody with their dad, who said he would look after the kids while she was away - but she was still conflicted. “I don’t think this opportunity will present itself again, but I also can’t shake off the fact that I would be leaving my two girls behind who are my everything," she said.
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She added in a later comment that she would “probably fly home every other weekend to see them”, and that if their dad had the same opportunity, she would encourage him to go for it. Fellow Mumsnet users shared what they would do in the mum’s situation, with the post gaining almost a thousand comments.
Some parents said that they wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving the children for three months. “I wouldn't do it and I’d say the same of either parent. They’re so young and it’s a long time,” one person replied.
Another added: “I don’t think it’s reasonable to leave children for that length of time - and I’d say the same for a father too. Yes, lots of men think nothing of working away for long periods of time but that doesn’t make it right or fair on the children.”
“I wouldn’t, no way. I’m pretty relaxed about leaving children for holidays etc. but that is far too long!” a third said.
“I don't see how working abroad is any different to working in the UK,” another person wrote. “You had children for a reason, not to just pick and drop them when it suits you. What about their needs and wants?”
However, other Mumsnet users disagreed and encouraged the mum to accept the opportunity. “They won’t even remember your absence when they’re older, but they’ll appreciate the fancy lawyer salary you’ll earn,” one person pointed out.
“Do it!” another urged. “Three and a half months will fly by. It will be a fantastic experience for you! Staying in touch is an awful lot easier these days. The kids will be absolutely fine with their dad.”
“I think it’s important we don’t lose ourselves for our kids, and 12-15 weeks is a very small portion of their whole childhood,” said another parent in the comments section.
“I think you are setting a wonderful example to your girls,” one commenter praised the mum. “Doing this placement will only make it better.”
What do you think? Let us know in the comments below.
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