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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
National
Lucy Mangan

Conchological delight and a return to real life. Remember that?

Thames Argos
Snail blending in with sand coloured background
The German hairy snail – the size of a fingernail. Photograph: Gino Brignoli/PA

Monday

The hunt is apparently on in London for the German hairy snail. OK. I have an idea. Why don’t we NOT search for anything called “the German hairy snail”? In fact, I have an even better idea – why don’t we not search for any kind of “hairy snail”. I would go even further and suggest not searching for anything “hairy” at all because that is second only to “mucus” in the list of world’s worst words. But I will settle for not searching for the thing that unassailably evokes the two in grotesque combination.

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