My phone pings. A new WhatsApp group flashes up on my phone: “Willow is turning four – princess party.” I put my head in my hands and groan. “Oh no, not another one,” I sigh. I’m a mum with two kids under the age of six, so my life these days is a non-stop children’s party. It doesn’t matter how much the parties cost, either – I don’t want to be trapped inside a church hall with a bouncy castle any more than at a Charlie and the Chocolate Factory-themed birthday bash at a posh Mayfair hotel with valet buggy parking. These things are always a living hell.
I’ve had some bad experiences. If you hear the dreaded words “Peppa Pig World” (£558.75 for a group of 15 at the weekend), you definitely shouldn’t drive to Hampshire for 70 exciting rides and attractions unless you want to be traumatised. When my youngest went to a party at the Holland Park Ecology Centre (£525 for a 2-hour party at the weekend), she came up in hives all over her body. At the trampolining chain Oxygen Freejumping (£239.50 for an hour-long party followed by pizza or hotdogs), I casually looked up at a tall tower and realised in horror that the child defying death in a bungee-jumping harness was my own six-year-old. In my opinion, children’s parties have gotten out of hand. That is why I’m putting my foot down and saying: “Enough is enough.”
