When the National Police Chiefs’ Council released its analysis of crimes of child sexual abuse and exploitation recently, one figure particularly concerned me. Crimes in this category are changing, it found. For instance, child-on-child abuse, which historically represented about a third of offences, now accounts for just over half. The report described this as “a growing and concerning trend” – and it is.
But as a psychologist who investigates the sexualisation of young people, I don’t think the answer is criminalising them. About 25% of all sexual offences against children relate to online offences of indecent images, the report found. What young people need is support, information and guidance from the adults around them as they navigate an increasingly complicated online world.
Unfortunately, it seems that many adults are as baffled as their children about what constitutes an online sexual offence. A huge proportion of the UK public are unaware that it is illegal to incite someone to send a nude photo if you are under 18, for example.
Armed with a clear knowledge of the law, a young person can say, “No, this is illegal,” and stand their ground. But shame and fear of judgment often become a barrier to them seeking support. Indeed, the internet security company ESET found that only a small proportion of under-18s would tell a parent, teacher or friend if they received an unwanted intimate photo or video, and fewer than 10% of them would go to the police.
Some of these statistics will be incredibly concerning to parents and children. They may make you want to ban your child from ever using a smartphone again. Last week, the government confirmed plans to ban mobile phones from all English schools – something many schools do already. But the solution is not preventing children from accessing the internet at all. A far better way forward is creating better awareness through open conversations between parents and their children, and a more considered approach from policy makers and stakeholders to help young people stay safe online.
We need clearer, more precise and age-appropriate legislation that differentiates between consensual sexting among peers of similar ages and exploitative behaviour. Regulation should also mandate that social-media platforms and messaging apps implement more robust age-verification processes, and provide tools that help detect and report inappropriate content. Education in schools needs balance, emphasising legal implications and discussing emotional impacts. It needs to teach young people about the concept of a digital footprint – how, once something is shared online, it can be difficult or impossible to remove.
Just recently Brianna Ghey’s mother, Esther, called out the Online Safety Act for not going far enough in protecting children and young people from seeing harmful content. Having seen the stress many young people endure because of misuse of their content or trust online, I support her mission to introduce mindfulness in schools across the UK. This would go some way towards addressing the impulsivity often involved in sexting. It’s about getting children and young people to think twice – not to act impulsively. Esther Ghey also started a petition for smartphones to be banned for children under the age of 16; but this is not an easy ask, so parents need to be prepared to educate their children about the risks of these devices now.
It may all seem overwhelming. The rapid rise of technology and new social-media apps has left parents in a position where they feel more disconnected than ever from what their children are doing online. It all seems very different from when they were growing up. However, the same dynamics of bullying, body image, entitlement and misguided ideas about how to show affection are at play, and these are as old as time.
Think about nudes, sexting, cyberbullying and social-media pressure as simply new manifestations of the difficulties you navigated when you were growing up; focus on the emotions your child may be feeling and tackle it from this perspective. Get yourself clued up on the specifics of these issues using some of the many resources from Internet Matters, Safer Kids Online and Childline. Parents need to bite the bullet and start talking about these issues as soon as they talk to their children about what healthy sexual relationships look like – after all, many of the teenagers surveyed say they first shared explicit content while they were underage.
A phone is no longer merely a phone. It’s a means of accessing ideas, ideologies and endless information – both good and bad. Talk to your child about what they may encounter. Give them the best chance of being part of a healthy digital environment by providing clear boundaries on which apps can be used for how long, putting parental controls on devices right from the start and, most importantly, talking regularly.
For young people, there are also important takeaways from these findings. First, that they’re not alone. Second, that they do have the power to take ownership of their identity and speak to someone if they feel under pressure or uncomfortable. And finally, that not everybody does it – just 4% of 13-year-olds say they have sent an intimate image of themselves – despite what they might have heard on social media or TV.
We are all playing catch-up with technology and its impacts: parents, psychologists, police and legislators. But we are not powerless against these threats. In cases of image misuse, blackmail or cyberflashing I would always advise children and parents to speak to the authorities so they can monitor and change what is going on online. Now is a tipping point for technology and AI, and we all have a role to play in keeping ourselves and our children safe.
Dr Linda Papadopoulos is a psychologist, broadcaster and author. Her latest book is Unfollow: Living Life on Your Own Terms
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