Chelsea Handler isn’t breaking out the bubbly to celebrate the latest baby news coming out of Hollywood.
The envelope-pushing comedian has weighed in on the baby boom among stars including Robert De Niro, Al Pacino, Alec Baldwin and Elon Musk — all of whom have recently expanded their family trees.
“They cannot stop procreating,” Handler, 48, said, referring to a country-wide epidemic of “horny old men who won’t stop spreading their seed.”
“Between the four of those guys, they have 32 children,” she said in a satirical Instagram video posted Wednesday, adding that they “never met a broken condom they didn’t like.”
“Robert De Niro just had his seventh child at the tender age of 79,” the “Chelsea Lately” star quipped.
De Niro welcomed his new daughter, Gia Virginia Chen-De Niro, with girlfriend Tiffany Chen earlier this year.
Meanwhile, 83-year-old Pacino and his 29-year-old girlfriend recently welcomed a baby boy named Roman, making the actor one of the oldest new fathers on record. The “Serpico” star already has a 33-year-old daughter with acting coach Jan Tarrant, and 22-year old twins with actress Beverly D’Angelo.
As for Baldwin, his wife of 11 years gave birth to their seventh child in September. The 65-year-old “Rust” star also shares 27-year-old daughter Ireland with ex-wife Kim Basinger, bringing his total number of kids to eight.
Musk, on the other hand, may not be as old as the others but Handler said “because of his personality, he might as well be.”
The 51-year-old Twitter CEO has welcomed 10 children, including a set of twins that were born from longtime Neuralink executive Shivon Zilis just weeks before his second child with Grimes.
Bringing the snarky levity she’s known for, Handler revealed her solution to “protect the women of the world.”
“I am offering myself up for auction for any available octogenarian,” she said. “You can find me on eBay or DoorDash. And for 20% off, you can use the code sugar tits.”
