I was recently reminded of one of the Epigrams of the Roman poet Martial (Marcus Valerius Martialis, colloquially pronounced in English as "Marshall"). It is about the lawyers of his day, but it reflects—in an exaggerated way, of course—something that some lawyers, and many law students, tend to do today in their briefs, especially briefs that deal with glamorous subjects such as constitutional law. Here is a translation I much liked, by Roger Dickinson-Brown, reprinted with permission:
There is no poison here, no rape or force—
a simple case: my neighbor stole my goats.
But my expensive lawyer will discourse
on the whole history of law. He quotes
book, precedent and chapter 'til he's hoarse.
Fine, noble words! But what about my goats?
