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Louise Thomas
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A bride has opened up about why she feels like her mother has been sabotaging her wedding.
In a recent Reddit post shared to the “Wedding Drama” subreddit, the bride titled her post “I’m pretty sure my mom is trying to sabotage the wedding” as she clarified that this would be her first wedding and should be “one of the happiest moments” of her life, but her mother has harmed most aspects of the planning and general ceremony.
“We’ve had so many blessings during this journey, however, my mom has done nothing, but verbally attack me, make digs at me, yell at me, try to control the guest list, wear me out, and make me cry. All while contributing zero financially and mentally (unless you count the negative parts as contributing),” the Reddit post began.
She explained that her mother constantly calls her names resulting in a cycle where she stands up for herself and her mother then uses that behavior and losing her temper as a reason for her family members not to attend.
The comments extended to her appearance as her mother told her she needed to cut off and lighten the hair that she is currently content with. Her mother also started a fight because her daughter did not pick the wedding venue she wanted despite being over budget.
“I told her how I felt about her treatment, how it just makes me cry & I’m tired of it, and she called me disrespectful, and ungrateful and then proceeded to threaten that, she’s ‘going to be a bad mom,’” she recalled.
The bride’s Reddit post continued to mention how it is a family tradition for the mother of the bride to plan the bridal shower instead of the maid of honor. Although her mother did so for her sister, she never planned one for her. “I asked my mom 6 months ago when would work best for her and what she would need from me, she just blew me off. We’re less than 2 months away from the wedding now & I’ve just come to accept that I wouldn’t get one,” she wrote.
I’m pretty sure my mom is trying to sabotage the wedding.
byu/Watuppeaches inweddingdrama
Her mother also didn’t attend her wedding dress fitting, but her stepmother did. During the fitting, she asked about a bridal shower and told her mother wasn’t planning one. This led to her stepmother and stepgrandmother planning a shower themselves.
“Now I’m getting flack from my mom’s side of the family for letting my bonus family plan it. It’s literally let my bonus family plan it or don’t have one at this point. My mom had the opportunity to do it for months and chose not to. How can they be mad that I have people in my life who care about me?” the bride wrote in her Reddit post.
“My mom has been otherwise absent during this whole process unless she wants to call or text me just to yell at me, make me feel bad, or tell me I need to disinvite people who are actively in my life so that she can invite people that I’ve only been around 4 times in my life.”
Currently, her mother is giving her the silent treatment, and isn’t sure how her mother will proceed whether that be to not show up at the wedding or decide to upstage her by wearing a white dress.
After asking the comments section for advice, many people wrote that she should uninvite her from the wedding and consider going “no contact,” which means not reaching out or responding to any of her mother’s messages.
“Disinvite her bc you know very good and well she’s going to cause issues. She already bad-mouths you and you don’t need that on your wedding day!” one comment read.
“With the way your mom is you may have a slight tinge of guilt by uninviting her but not as bad if she comes and totally ruins your wedding.. if it will get the attention she needs she’ll do anything she can to get the attention. Hire security to keep her out and if you go ahead and have her there have security toss her out at the first sign of trouble!”
“You have the perfect opportunity here to do nothing. Keep her on silent,” another comment read. “The best-case scenario for you is that she doesn’t show up because it sounds like if she does she will go out of her way to cause problems. Let her fade away. Enjoy a peaceful, joyous wedding minus her. Congratulations.”
