Duncan James has shared the heartbreaking story of his lost relationship with his late father, whom he never met and only spoke to once.
The singer, who shot to fame in the early 2000s with boyband Blue, wrote about moments that had shaped his life in a new article, in which he reflected on growing up without a father.
James told The i Paper that his dad left his mum, a nurse, before he was born, and that his mum raised him as a single parent.
“I never met my dad,” he wrote. “I got in contact when I was 25 and had one conversation on the phone, and told him I was in Blue. He had this deep, well-spoken voice, and said: [does impression] ‘Which one are you?’
“I thought: ‘I’m not the Black guy [Simon Webbe]. I’m not the Greek-looking one [Antony Costa]. Can’t you tell?’ He said: ‘I suppose I could arrange to meet you for a drink.’ I thought: ‘That’s nice that you could arrange to meet me,’ but said: ‘I’d like to have a beer with you, talk about your life. I’m an open-minded guy, I’m not judging. I just want to sit and look you in the eyes.’”
James revealed that, just a week later, his publicist called to tell him that a tabloid newspaper was running a double-page spread on “a man who claims he’s your long-lost father”.
His dad had apparently told the outlet that James had inherited all his talent from him: “My mum burst into tears, she was so upset he’d sold out on me in such a callous way. I thought: ‘I don’t want to meet him now.’”
Ten years later, James reached out to his father’s ex-partner and learnt that he’d been found dead in his home in Portugal by the housekeeper, “surrounded by bottles”.
“I no longer had the power to say: ‘I will meet you when the time’s right.’ But I felt a lot of guilt, and didn’t understand why I was crying over a man I’d never met,” James said. “The symbolism hit me, which is why I’ve probably got daddy issues to this day.”
With Blue, James achieved a string of hit singles, including “All Rise” and “One Love”. He came out as bisexual in 2009 before identifying as gay in 2014; he shares a daughter, Tianie-Finn, 20, with model Claire Grainger.
Speaking to Rylan Clark on Clark’s podcast Ry-Union in 2022, the musician opened up about the difficulties he faced in being open about his sexuality in public.
“I think being in such a public boy band, with the majority of fans being female, it was really hard for me to actually have the courage to come out,” he said, “because I was scared on so many different levels on so many different things.”
Blue released their new album Reflections last month; they tour the UK and Europe this year.
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