First the bad news. Forty years ago a comet crashed into Earth wiping out 99% of humanity – and turning the Korean peninsula into a desert. Did Kim Jong-un and your favourite K-pop heroes survive? We have no information at this time.
The air is so toxic that humans wear oxygen masks outdoors, even former followers of Piers Corbyn. Our hero, a courier called 5-8 (played by ex-runway model Kim Woo-bin) delivers oxygen and food to survivors holed up in grim concrete new-builds, which are constructed on a grid plan resembling Milton Keynes – minus the charm and roundabouts. In order to get signatures for parcels, 5-8 must go through detoxifying air locks at each property, demonstrating a dedication unmatched by DPD or Amazon Prime in my experience.
Black Knight may sound like the latest spin-off from Marvel Comic Universe’s Wakanda sub-franchise, but is in fact adapted from a Korean webtoon about a counterintuitive dystopia in which, effectively, Parcelforce’s futuristic homologues are sexy, heroic and never leave your package in the bin.
Unlike, say the hero of Ken Loach’s 2019 film indicting exploitative courier employment practices, 5-8 doesn’t leave notes saying: “Sorry we missed you.” Why? Because 5-8 never misses anybody: everybody is always at home, playing video games that simulate the sunny green world as it was before the comet struck or working out on treadmills while wearing headsets that induce users to believe they’re running through leafy parks. Truly in this post-apocalyptic hellscape, the living must envy the dead.
But there is good news. All survivors are simply gorgeous and have excellent haircuts. It’s almost as if the comet was sent by a superior civilisation bent on eradicating ugly humans and nipping that mullet revival in the bud. How fortunate that the comet spared so many hairdressers and makeup artists.
Suella Braverman must never be allowed to see this programme. It would give her ideas. Post-apocalyptic Korean society is divided into three classes called general, specific and core. Scanner-carrying security goons determine who belongs to which class by using QR codes on their wrists.
At the top of society is the Cheonmyeong Group, a cabal of cravat-wearing architects and political lackeys, who are building gated communities with reliable oxygen supplies. Their clientele are the posh people protected by security details that have shoot-to-kill-riff-raff policies not yet enforced even in London’s most exclusive new developments.
The premise for the opening episode is that a refugee, an incorrigible teen scamp called Sa-Wol, tries to realise his dream of following in 5-8’s footsteps. Meanwhile Sa-Wol’s sister Seul-ah, comes over all unnecessarily giggly when hunky 5-8 emerges through the air lock with his consignment of fresh produce, chiselled good looks and dreamy eyes that would melt polar ice caps. The sexual politics are anything but futuristic.
The only strong female character so far is Seol-ah, who is, confusingly to me, not Seul-ah but a grown-up military intelligence cop with fast hands and camouflage fatigues. My money says she will have a thing with 5-8 when they both go rogue and lead a revolution against the cravat wearers in about, ooh, episode six.
How striking that today we’re spoiled for choice when it comes to post-apocalyptic TV dramas (Sweet Tooth, The Last of Us, not to mention reruns of Westworld and The Walking Dead) possibly made at the behest of our useless overlords to show us that our current dystopia is not really so bad. Right now on Apple TV+, the much more effective Silo is predicated on human survivors including Rebecca Ferguson, Rachida Jones and David Oyelowo living in an underground silo.
I’m not saying Black Knight takes its premise from one of Kevin Costner’s worst films, but in 1997’s The Postman, Costner’s hero delivered life’s necessities through post-apocalyptic USA in a cheery cap like Postman Pat. Similarly, Black Knight treats couriers as unsung heroes, with 5-8 having to drive through a desert that teems with rogues – electrocuting them with the press of a dashboard switch if they manage to climb on his delivery truck. If he gets pulled over, he has a full repertoire of firearms, baseball bats and martial arts skills to subdue them. It’s all endearingly silly – imagine that your Ocado driver is Tom Hardy in Mad Max: Fury Road, and you won’t be far off.
But the makers of Black Knight have made a mistake. 5-8 drives his truck with the window open and no mask, a cigarette dangling fetchingly from eminently kissable lips. Dude, you’re literally delivering oxygen canisters while sucking down two kinds of toxic fumes. Think it through, you doughnut.
Black Knight is streaming on Netflix.
