Alex Kadis establishes a jaunty tone from the very first pages of her debut about Connie Costa, a music-loving teenager stuck at home in east London in the mid-1970s, longing to break free from her smothering Greek Cypriot extended family, and in particular her restrictive father. Dubbing him “the fat murderer”, she has dreamed endlessly about killing him ever since the car accident a year before that took the lives of her mother and younger brothers. Lively, opinionated, and slightly chubby in her groovy 70s gear, Connie has two imaginary friends in the form of Marc Bolan and “bloody David Bowie”, with whom she communes via the posters on her bedroom wall. Marc she adores, but Bowie can be a bit snide, as well as having dubious taste in fashion.
She’s starting to develop a keen interest in the male trouser region (Marc’s is placed at eye level). In the case of her father’s friend, Peter Pervy Roy, who wears “trousers so eye-wateringly tight that they squashed his knob and bollocks into a weird flat patty”, actual proximity can be off-putting. Far more appetising is her childhood friend Vas, similarly suffering from growing up while Greek. Vas displays his willy on demand: “It’s definitely getting bigger.” Everyone else assumes he’s gay because he reads poetry.
