Things have not gone so well for the Tennessee Titans.
Tennessee was once 7-3 with a 97 percent probability to win the AFC South for the third straight year. Now Mike Vrabel’s team is 7-9 and needs to beat the streaking Jacksonville Jaguars, in Jacksonville with its third-string quarterback, just to sneak into the playoffs.
And it turns out their official canned cocktail, well-made as it may be, is a bit of an unfortunate, over-complicated mess.
But there is another. It turns out the Titans have multiple official canned cocktails. So if you’re at Nissan Stadium you can also find Epic Western’s tequila-based offerings to help you through the interminable slogs that have made up Tennessee’s 2022 regular season. After rolling through Spirited Hive’s lineup, it was only fair I give the its Nashville alternative a proper chance to put a silver lining on the franchise’s unpleasant 2022.
Turns out, it’s pretty good. Like, really good.
Epic Western Chispa Rita: A
First thing first: this thing smells *awesome.* Cracking the can unleashes a wave of fresh lime, salt and agave. It’s a sealed beverage (canned August 2022) but it smells like straight up bar margarita. I poured half into a pint glass with ice and saved the rest in the can, since that’s how you’d be drinking it in the NFL’s most generic stadium (the fact the blueprints to replace Nissan Stadium look exactly like cliched upscale, gentrified-city high-end apartments is perfect for both its predecessor and the city of Nashville itself).
As an avowed not-tequila guy this … actually hits a lot of great notes. The booze itself is present throughout, but not overpowering. Unlike Spirited Hive, the process is straightforward. A little tequila, a little lime, and a little salt to leave a dry but satisfying finish. It’s not as sweet as a vodka-soda drink and packs way more flavor than a hard seltzer. While it clocks in at eight percent ABV, that added kick isn’t apparent.
Out of the can it’s dangerously easy to drink. I’m genuinely surprised by how much I like this, especially after seeing Epic Western’s tequila lineup, shrugging and telling myself “hell, I’ll give it a shot.” I know “crushable” is an adjective we mostly give to low-alcohol pale ales, but that’s exactly where I’ve landed with the Chispa Rita. I went in for a sip and want more. At a hot early October NFL game? Hoooo buddy, I could put down a couple of these in a quarter, no problem.
Fortunately, I tried this one around actual tequila drinkers who described it as “a pretty good margarita,” “extremely crisp” and “kinda crazy it came from a can.”
I feel the same way. Epic Western’s Chispa Rita rules.
Epic Western Ranch Water: B-
The agave and tequila come through strong off the initial pour, and the salt that was balanced in the margarita variant is more potent here. The first sip backs this up; the lime has taken a backseat to a tequila-soda cocktail.
It’s a dry beverage that’s tougher to drink than the Chispa Rita. It tastes stronger and increases its reliance on tequila. That’s going to be a welcome development for tequila lovers out there. I’m decidedly lukewarm on the spirit, so I’m not feeling it nearly as much as the previous can. In that vein, it’s pretty much the same drink poured over ice or out of the can, though someone with a better tongue for ranch water might have more to offer on that.
I’m used to the 80 calorie ranch water seltzers on the market. Leveling up to this, at roughly 250 percent the ABV (10), is a little too steep for me. But that’s because I’m not big on tequila. You might have a better time with it.
Epic Western Paloma: B+
Hooooo buddy, remember that fresh fruit smell I mentioned with the Chispa Rita? That’s back in a big way here, only with grapefruit. There’s only a minor hint of tequila buried under a wave of fresh citrus. The first sip pays that off in a big way; dry grapefruit, a little tequila and enough carbonation to snap off each gulp cleanly.
It fits between the margarita and ranch water in terms of drinkability, but goes down smooth thanks to the balanced grapefruit throughout. It’s heavier than similar canned cocktails or seltzers and much more flavorful while packing a higher ABV.
This is another easy win. Epic Western does a great job blending tequila and citrus and making the whole cocktail feel remarkably fresh out of a can. Maybe it’s because I came in with meager expectations, but this lineup mostly blew me away.
