Bachie’s Felix Is Back On Those Pesky Apps His Hinge Profile Is Fkn Audacious To Say The Least

It feels like 87 years since The Bachelors was last on our screens because so much has happened since then. Married At First Sight

started shutting shop Felix Von Hofe Jessica Navin So Dramatic!

Dudes be like, “Dating on national television sucks.” My brother in Christ, you did the dating! 

The Bachelors Osher Günsberg Damien Kelly Abigail Harley Mini

The post Bachie’s Felix Is Back On Those Pesky Apps & His Hinge Profile Is Fkn Audacious To Say The Least appeared first on PEDESTRIAN.TV .

! The Glebe Markets are ! Who has time to learn about the ongoing trials and tribulations of our three non-committal stud muffins? Me, that’s who, and hopefully you, because  is back on the apps and the absolute madman had the gall to take a swipe at  , plus the show, on his Hinge profile. THE AUDACITY. This man’s thought processes will never cease to amaze me. obtained screenshots of the bloke’s Hinge profile and, basically, he’s given sassy replies to those ridiculous prompts the app forces you to answer. You know the ones that are like, “Most spontaneous thing I’ve ever done” and “The last time I cried happy tears was” et cetera, which are so vomitrocious and deeply embarrassing they make me gag. Anyway, according to the screenshots, Felix had two prompts on his profile: “Therapy recently taught me” and “Green flags I look for”. What was the answer to the first prompt, you ask? Why, none other than “Avoid dating on national TV”! It reminded me of this meme: Babe, you willingly went on to date, like, one million women on national television! didn’t force you to gallivant around the streets of the Gold Coast ramming your tongue down the throats of your 10 girlfriends — that was all you! The answer to the second prompt was somehow worse ‘cos the “green flags” Felix allegedly looks for are “Someone who isn’t currently dating someone else …” and I am spent. I’m packing it in. Stick a fork in me and let me deflate into nothingness because I am done. This answer also reminded me of the Subway meme — which has really proven itself to be a versatile queen — because Felix literally chose Jessica. Day in, day out loyal viewers (and me) had to sit through the same “open relationship” and “conscious conversation” nonsense, which ultimately culminated in Jessica dumping on national television (RIP, brother) so she and Felix could dry hump monogamously for the rest of their lives. So, Mister Von Hofe, don’t try having a go at Jessica for being polyamorous when you kept giving her roses like they were going out of fashion, and ultimately picked her! You could’ve dated  and gone for walks with the cat in that quirky clear backpack! But no, my brother in Christ, you chose the girl who was dating someone else! Anyway. If you need me, I’ll be downloading Hinge and setting my location to Melbourne so I can try and find the rest of Felix’s profile.