It has been a dark two weeks. Dark enough to take the shine off even the brightest, reddest, most Bonoest of Vespas.
You wouldn't need to hand a script to a bewildered-looking Paul McCartney and get him to read it to know it's very dark over RTE.
It's not just the kids in the studio audience who are crying over the fate of the Toy Man now - greatly exaggerated or otherwise. It's a time when the words "barter account" became as engraved in the Irish subconscious as "an bhfuil cead agam dol go dti an leithreas".
READ MORE: Ryan Tubridy to break silence on RTE payments scandal as Oireachtas grilling fast-tracked
But it's been the RTE elite who've been taking the p***. Along with taking a private bus the 2.4km from a restaurant to Croke Park.
I'll trade a lampshade I found when clearing out my attic with anyone in RTE who tells me where I can get some barter account cash.
Nice humble little phrase, barter account. It's like you just walk up to an agent like Noel Kelly and do swapsies. Barter sounds prudent - raiding the canteen and popping a mug Gaybo used on Done Deal to trade for for Tubridy's breakfast waffle.
"Slush fund", though, is very different. That's a combination of words most of us are well familiar with... we've heard of slush funds before.
Slush fund conjures up an image of cash you can jump into and splash around in - if you're not preoccupied at the Champions League Final.
If RTE didn't bring you to the Rugby World Cup. You might have time, then, to roll around in the cash-strapped broadcaster's slushy cash.
I tried an experiment this morning. I got all the loose change and cash I could find to see if I could get it to make a slush sound.
I can confirm €5.70 isn't enough to slush. There was a slight rustle from the €5 note, and a low jingle from the 70c. But no slush.
Even if I had €160 to hand - which I don't because I've to pay for the TV licence - that on its own isn't enough to slush.
It takes a lot more TV licences than just mine to get a good slush going - that's why you might end up in jail if you don't pay it.
It must be comforting for RTE bigwigs to know that they don't have to rely on their own station to see big sporting events, though.
Sod it, let TV3 or whatever it's called these days have the rights if the RTE bigwigs are going to be at the big match anyway.
And RTE News Now ratings must be soaring - every cloud has a silver lining, and all that...
Yet it doesn't look like a happy ending for RTE's home-produced Barter Account drama. Though someone might swap a red Vespa for one.
MORE ON THE RTE SCANDAL:
'Ryan Tubridy is a dead man walking in RTE but only has himself to blame'
RTE defends spending on membership at one of London's elite clubhouses
Toy Show The Musical writer reveals writing show was 'worst experience' of her career
Mystery surrounds secret car 'loan' to prominent RTE personality as more revelations may come
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