LABOUR’S Angela Rayner has hit the road in a specially-kitted out election battle bus to embark on a listening tour of the north of England.
So far, so good. She’s far more down-to-Earth and popular with voters than her boss RoboKeir and the campaign is being backed by Labour’s in-house magazine The Mirror, so positive coverage is guaranteed.
She is the one best-placed to re-engage the party with its core support in the north-east of England, according to The Mirror. It is historically strong Labour territory where the party lost ground in 2019 over Brexit.
Nothing can go wrong unless the van looks uncannily like a giant Muller fruit corner in the colour scheme of the Andrew Marr Show title card…
Except that’s exactly what it looks like. Politicians should probably know not to get mixed up with campervans by now, but they just don’t seem to learn.
Rayner gets a glowing write-up in the paper, which declares: “The specially conceived tour, supported by the Mirror, has taken her in a camper van into the industrial heartlands and coastal towns of the north east.
“To look, and to listen. Hard. She knows that Labour’s success at the next election depends on that.”
And in a further “she’s just like us” moment, the article says Rayner’s just returned from a holiday in Spain when “she danced one night from four in the afternoon until five in the morning to her favourite club anthems”.
We can only hope The Mirror put on a specially-themed Geordie Shore-themed night out for her when their tour hits Newcastle. Let’s see if she can walk the walk.
The article ends with something that we must believe did happen, but feels like it definitely did not.
“As Angela steps off the train she is handed a note,” the Mirror journalist accompanying her writes.
“It reads: ‘Thank you for being the voice for those who cannot speak out. Optimism is low, you provide hope. Please continue to support workers.’”
