There is a scene playing over in Amy Dowden’s mind giving her the resolve to push forwards as she stares down an uncertain road ahead.
It is the image of herself back in the Strictly ballroom – and surprisingly, but defiantly, the 32-year-old insists she will make it a reality this autumn.
The professional was diagnosed with aggressive grade three breast cancer just four weeks ago, and spoke movingly on Saturday for the first time after surgeons removed her right breast.
She sounded quiet, hesitant at times, clearly coming to terms with the enormity of what she is going through, still sore from her mastectomy and unable to lift her right arm.
Yet her determination was deafening, and no louder than when it came to her Strictly return.
Amy is waiting to hear this week what stage of cancer the resulting analysis reveals, and therefore whether she will need solely radiotherapy treatment, or chemotherapy, too. But she says she will be present on our screens either way.
She insists: “If I only have radiotherapy I’ll be back on Strictly this season. Once radiotherapy is done there’ll be nothing to stop me, there’s no pressure but Strictly is leaving the door open. It’s having something to work towards.
“I’m visualising myself on that Strictly dance floor. Just being back in the ballroom with the live audience, the adrenalin and the atmosphere. And the support from the whole Strictly family.
“We can choreograph around me doing things with lifting, putting pressure on my arm. You can adapt.”
Amy explains she did this with TV presenter JJ Chalmers, the former royal marine injured in a bomb blast in Afghanistan, who was her 2020 partner.
She adds: “I used to choreograph with one arm in my pocket for him. He’s been a great support, he says, ‘Cancer has messed with the wrong person.’
“Imagine what it would show everyone, getting back out there? Women who have been diagnosed can think, well Amy got straight back out.
“And if I have to have chemotherapy, I’ll be present in some way, even if I’m in a wig. I know amazing hair people with Strictly. Whether it’s on It Takes Two, or being up in Claudia’s area waiting for the scores, I’ll be there.”
Amy has had support from fellow dancers, including close friend Dianne Buswell.
She adds: “They are all rooting for me.”
As Amy sat in the sitting room of her West Midlands’ home last Tuesday, just six days after her mastectomy, she was realistic about the arduous weeks and months ahead.
Surgeons removed two tumours plus three cancer “specks” and some lymph nodes, before reconstructing her breast. Waiting for her histology report is tough.
As a sufferer of inflammatory bowel condition Crohn’s Disease from the age of 11, Amy desperately hopes she can avoid chemotherapy, especially as it could be halted by flare-ups. And of course because of the “punishment” of missing the full Strictly series.
But beyond this, she is wary of her need to work carefully back to full dancing. Too much too soon could restrict her movement long-term.
Amy explains: “I have to be careful not to overdo it with my exercises if I want to be sure of getting my full movement back. I am not allowed to put my arm behind my back at the moment. When I do lifts with my partner that is my body weight.
“They have said for six weeks I can’t dance, and then it’s a gradual build up. They haven’t said when I will get full movement.”
Amy watched her mum beat breast cancer, although she was diagnosed at the older age of 51. She had a lumpectomy rather than mastectomy, but still suffers lymphoedema, a chronic condition that causes swelling in the body’s tissues.
The professional group dances are rehearsed earlier in the summer, although Amy still hopes to join some. Celebrity partners are not chosen until September.
She says: “When I told the exec about my cancer I said, ‘I’ve got this, but I don’t want you to take me off Strictly this year.’
“They have said, ‘We’ll be guided by you’. If I can’t make it for the series, there’s the Christmas special.”
Dianne, one of Amy’s bridesmaids when she married professional dancer Ben Jones last July, is not the only one urging her to keep positive. The whole Strictly team has flooded her with messages, flowers and cards. Judge Shirley Ballas, 62, who faced a breast cancer scare, urged her to call to “rant” any time. Amy adds: “But all of them have. Anton sent a voice note, all the pros, Craig, Motsi, even Bruno, Tess and Claudia.”
It was the day before she flew away on a belated honeymoon with Ben this April Amy felt a lump in her right breast. On her return she went to her GP, and diagnosis was quick.
She has revealed she had not been checking her breasts until she took part in a trek with the cancer charity Coppafeel! last year. It is led by Giovanna Fletcher, wife of McFly’s Tom, who Amy partnered on Strictly. She believes the charity saved her life - doctors have said if that lump had been discovered three months later it could have been “a very different story”. Alongside her determination to get back on Strictly, is a drive to ensure all women check their breasts.
Amy says: “I’ve always been open about my Crohn’s and I’ve seen the impact I’ve had.”
She has a final aim. Amy adds: “A massive ring the bell party.” She organised one for a close friend who overcame breast cancer. It is a take on the bell ringing many hospitals encourage when a patient makes a positive step on their cancer journey.
She says: “We had bells and wore breast cancer badges and had booby cupcakes and cocktails.
“My ring the bell party will be for everyone who supported me.”
And perhaps where better to ring it than in the Strictly ballroom?
For more information about breast health awareness visit coppafeel.org.
