Getting to know yourself is both valuable and interesting, and it all starts with finding out where you come from. However, while some don’t have to search for long, others might need to travel halfway across the world.
A story just like this recently happened to this one woman. She was adopted at a young age, and despite meeting her biological mother later in life, the only thing she had from her father’s side was an over two-decades-old postcard. And yet, that was enough for her to meet the rest of her birth family eventually. Scroll down to read the full story!
Being curious about your history is very human, and some of us will go to the greatest lengths to do it
A woman who was born to parents struggling with illegal substance issues was placed in a foster home at a young age
Tiffany Sands was born in 1994, and due to her parents’ issues with illegal substances, she was placed in a specialist foster unit for babies exposed to such things in the womb.
The girl got adopted when she was around 2 and grew up in Norwich, England, where she had a chance to meet her biological mother roughly 26 years later in 2022. However, by that time, her birth dad, Steven, was no longer around.
She found her birth mom, but her father had already passed away, and the only thing she had from his side of the family was a 25-year-old postcard from Australia
The only thing left from her bio father’s side of the family was a 25-year-old postcard that her grandma had sent from Tweed Heads, New South Wales, Australia. “My birth nan on my mum’s side had a postcard that Steven had kept. It was from his mum in Australia, and it was the only clue I had,” Tiffany told ABC News.
The woman tried her best to find her biological dad’s family, but with her attempts bearing no fruit, she soon gave up. Fortunately, her boyfriend, Scott Richardson, was a lot more stubborn about the matter.
The woman’s attempts at tracking down the rest of her family were fruitless, but her boyfriend stepped in and managed to get in touch with her aunt back in Tweed Heads
“Tiffany was adopted at a young age, and as time has gone by, she’s talked more about tracing her roots,” began Scott. “As soon as we booked the flights to Australia, I was keen to see what I could find out about her grandmother. I signed up to a few ancestry websites, but I kept my search to myself.”
At first, finding useful leads proved rather difficult. That’s when Scott decided to try the Tweed Heads Community Facebook group. The results were astonishing, with people going as far as knocking on the door of the address and searching online census records.
The couple traveled to Australia, and the woman finally got to meet her extended family as well as learn about her and her family’s past
Eventually, the search team managed to track down a woman that appeared to be Tiffany’s aunt. “I messaged her saying: ‘I know this is a bit of a surprise, but you may be my partner’s aunt,” the man shared.
From then on out, everything played out as if in a movie. “Meeting my nan was emotional and overwhelming. I assumed my nan was English, but it turns out she is an Australian,” the woman shared.
The woman was very happy about getting to do this and said that she would definitely consider living there now that she knows about her family
It turned out that Tiffany’s grandma, Margaret Daynes, met her husband in Norwich in 1972. She soon got pregnant and had her son, Steven, but around eight years later, the woman and her child moved back to Australia. When the boy turned 12, he returned to live with his dad in the UK.
Learning about all this and finally getting a chance to meet her birth family made for some fantastic memories for Tiffany. “Being together felt relaxed and comfortable, and watching my 74-year-old great uncle on the slides at Wet and Wild was a memorable moment,” shared the woman, adding that she would definitely consider living in Australia now that she knows she’s a quarter Aussie.
Image credits: Tiffany Sands (Facebook)
Image credits: Tiffany Sands (Facebook)
Meetings like these are always beautiful. However, as this story testifies, the road to a reunion is rarely a straight line. Therefore, Bored Panda reached out to an adoptee psychologist, Dr. Elizabeth Donalds, to ask for her expertise and insights on this matter.
“Agencies typically try to keep families together when possible,” began Dr. Liz, saying that a child would not be taken out of their family home unless there were serious reasons to do so, like there were for Tiffany.
Image credits: arty (not the actual photo)
Adoptee psychologist Dr. Liz Donalds explained that for adoptees, getting to know their biological family can provide many answers that the rest of us often take for granted
Still, regardless of their reasons for ending up in foster care, many children remain curious about getting to know their birth families. “Many adoptees are very interested in finding their extended biological family and want to understand perhaps why they were placed up for adoption. What is their cultural heritage? What is their medical history? Were there artistic, creative, musical, or athletic talents that ran in the family?”
“Small things that someone raised in their biological family may take for granted knowing is part of the unknown history of adoptees,” continued the psychologist, adding that whether someone grew up in foster care or was adopted at any point in their life, knowing one’s history can be very healing and grounding.
Image credits: trilemedia (not the actual photo)
When it comes to looking for one’s biological family, especially if it may be separated by borders, Dr. Liz first and foremost recommends finding an adoption-competent therapist to work with before even beginning the actual search.
“Having someone help with navigating the wide range of emotions that may be experienced before, during, and after the search can help with managing expectations and family reactions,” said the expert, explaining that each person is different, and where one might need a single session, another might have to spend several months preparing.
For adoptees wanting to seek out their birth family, the expert recommends doing research and working with an adoption-competent therapist before starting this process
Lastly, the psychologist encouraged those in search to take their research seriously when turning to agencies for help, as there are many fraudulent ones. In addition, Dr. Liz recommended reading others’ similar experiences to develop an understanding of all the positives and negatives that these reunions may bring.
In the end, for every happy story like Tiffany’s, there are many more sad ones. But perhaps it’s as famous English writer T.M. Logan said: “It’s better to know than not to know.” After all, whether biological or not, family is important, and if you never got to meet a part of it, it’s only natural to be curious about your roots, so taking that chance might just be worth it.
What did you think about this story? Do you have some similar stories you’d like to share? The comments section is waiting for you!
