You’ve heard of Gwyneth Paltrow‘s goopy vagina candle, and you’ve heard of Bell Delphine‘s $30 bathwater but have you heard of a candle inspired by Jacob Elordi‘s bath water in Saltburn? No? Well do I have some neeeewwwwsss for you.
In case you’ve missed the general hullabaloo — or literally just our articles going on about cum —there’s a scene in the black-comedy-thriller film Saltburn that involves one character slurping up some bath water that contains another character’s spunk.
Naturally, the scene garnered a lot of reactions. Some people were hugely grossed out, taking to social media to report whole cinemas of gasps and winces as the scene played out on the big screen. Others weren’t too phased by the occurrence. As it happens, noted tall man Jacob Elordi even said he loved how the scene caused a heap of visceral reactions for people watching the film.
In an effort to keep this article relatively spoiler-free, I’d like to note that I believe there are other more shocking scenes in the film that I can’t believe aren’t more widely discussed. But what do I know?
Anyway, the cum scene has some fans. So much so that it’s inspired a whole new range of products on Etsy that would make brilliant gifts for your specifically horny friends — including a candle inspired by Jacob Elordi’s bath water in Saltburn.
Disgusting!! Abhorrent!!! Yucky!!!! I’d like to place an order!!!!!!
While you may think the candle would be scented with the distinct aroma of ornamental pears — otherwise known as cum trees — the seller has gone for a different approach. You can pick what you want the bathwater candle to smell like out of a range of scents including cinnamon vanilla, apple harvest or clean cotton.
Personally, I feel like clean cotton is the best fit for the whole Saltburn-inspired-scenario but whatever floats your cum candle boat, I guess.
While I have to note that it’s basically a regular candle with the phrase “Jaocb Elordi’s bath water” written on it, I can’t say I’m not even slightly interested in displaying it on my coffee table. But if the price of $40.57 AUD is a bit too steep for you, don’t worry, other sellers have caught on too selling similar products for a range of prices.
Look, if a silly little novelty candle isn’t enough for you, I have another suggestion to help you truly dunk your head under the hypothetical cum-infused bathwater — a little themed cocktail.
Yummy!!! Can’t wait to serve this up at my next cocktail party.
If you haven’t seen Saltburn yet, go stream it on Prime Video to see what all the fuss is about.
The post A ‘Jacob Elordi’s Bath Water’ Scented Candle Is Being Sold On Etsy & My Birthday Is In July, FYI appeared first on PEDESTRIAN.TV .
