Popular comedian Peter Kay has announced a huge UK tour for 2022-23 which will see him perform in Liverpool for two nights.
Fans of the comedian 'cannot wait' to see the comedy icon, who has promised start ticket prices at £35 due to the cost of living crisis. After a 12 year break from performing, Peter Kay is back and tickets will be available as early as Thursday this week.
For those fans who have 02 Priority, Peter Kay tickets will be available to purchase this Thursday November 10 from 10am. General sale for the tour will take place this Saturday 12 November.
READ MORE: Peter Kay ticket price, pre-sale and everything you need to know following tour announcement
We've narrowed down 10 incredible Peter Kay jokes that are making us very excited for the 2022-23 tour. From garlic bread to biscuits falling in brews, Peter Kay sure does have a huge range of hilarious jokes under his belt.
- Rola Cola
This unforgettable Coca Cola dupe reminds everybody of their childhood and that's what makes this joke so hilarious
"There are people starving in Africa!"
"Send it to 'em. They'll send it back!"
- Misheard lyrics
You won't ever be able to listen to a certain few songs again after hearing this joke. Whether it's "the hot dogs go on", which is clearly what's said in Celine Dion's 'My Heart Will Go On".
"Pork pies" and "wash your back" are just a couple of phrases you'll never forget thanks to Peter Kay.
- It's spittin'
"It's that fine rain that soaks you through!" Peter Kay recalls the hysteria in the playground when it starts spitting and gives a perfect impression of a dramatic dinner lady.
- Hobnobs
We can never eat a Hobnob without recalling this iconic joke by Peter Kay. He perfectly describes how a Hob Nob really does drink up your whole cuppa and the delivery is perfect.
The hardcore Hobnob can survive many dips according to Kay, which is why you should always opt for one instead of a Rich Tea biscuit, after all, you don't want your "biscuit falling in your brew".
- GARLIC BREAD!
Enough said. We can't tuck into some Garlic Bread without recalling the simple yet hilarious phrase from Peter Kay.
- Guess who died?
Peter Kay's jokes are so hilarious because of how relatable they are. Who else has a nan that will just randomly ask you to guess who's died? Morbid, but hilarious.
- Weddings
Perhaps one of his most relatable jokes of all are about weddings. Whether it's the delay in getting some food from the buffet because you're "not pigs" or the DJ that no one can understand.
- School reunions
Many of us dread school reunions, and Peter Kay sets the scene perfectly. After hearing from an old friend through 'Facetube' he recalls how "everyone's gotten older, fatter and balder, and that's the women!"
"There's a reason why you don't keep in touch with these people."
- Telephone etiquette
Peter Kay confirms that it's definitely weird when someone phones you at 10:30pm at night. "Who the hell is ringing at this time?" None of us can ever find a pen, either. Kay also touches on answering machines and old people and how they don't mix, which is equally as hilarious, and very true.
- Crimewatch
In the words of Peter Kay: “If you saw someone like on those Crimewatch videos they’d stick in your mind, they're freaks, they don’t look human!”
How to get tickets to Peter Kay's 2022-23 tour
Fans of Peter Kay who are on 02 will have access to 02 Priority tickets this Thursday November 10 at 10am. You can view the full list of tour dates here.
General tickets will go on sale this Saturday November 12 at 10am. Tickets will be available to purchase via See Tickets and Ticketmaster. Peter Kay tickets will also be available to purchase through the M&S Bank Arena website, where you can set up an alert to remind you about the ticket sale.
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