Your mattress puts on weight, mainly from dead skin and randy dust mites

Some of the gunk sucked out of an abandoned mattress that was plucked from the street and recruited for science.

A cure for cancer would be good. A rocket ship that can travel from an unhealthy planet to an unpolluted one would be nice too.

And why not a special psychic ray gun that renders psychopathic warmongers as helpless and charming as babies?