The prosecution: Annie
Our neighbour is elderly and I want to smooth things over with her
We’ve been having problems with our neighbour’s cat for a little while. He loves to come into our garden and poo everywhere. We have a large lawn and when I was hanging out the washing one time, I stepped in cat poo, which was disgusting. I threw my slippers away.
The cat is an overweight tabby called Boots and belongs to Martha, who lives next door, is about 90 and partially deaf. She’s been here since long before we moved in and lives alone. I have never thought to complain to her about Boots because, what am I going to say? “Can you please lock up your cat?”
My husband, Hamza, thinks we should have gone around ages ago, but I didn’t want to make a big deal out of something we couldn’t solve. We bought an odour repellent vaporiser thing, but it didn’t work.
The biggest issue arose after Milo, our five-year-old son, almost stepped in excrement when he was going outside to play. I shrieked at him not to move because he was so close to putting his foot in it. I gave him a bit of a shock and he started crying.
The next week he went outside when it was sunny and saw Boots sitting on a bench at the end of our garden. He ran up to the cat and scared it off by screaming at it, “I banish you from our garden!” Unfortunately Martha saw him from her kitchen window. Milo ran back inside and told me Martha had knocked on her window and had looked angry. I initially laughed, but when I saw Martha a week later, she blanked me.
I told Hamza we should apologise on behalf of Milo, or as a family, but he isn’t keen. I want to stay civil with our neighbours, especially the elderly ones who would benefit from a bit of polite conversation. Martha is blanking me and I’d rather just smooth it over. Hamza is quite stubborn and says we haven’t done anything wrong. He said Milo did the right thing and keeps talking about “the right to protect our land”, which is ridiculous.
Hopefully Boots will never return but I might just go and apologise on behalf of our family to keep the peace.
The defence: Hamza
I’m glad Milo scared the cat. I hope it stays away from our garden for good
That cat has been the bane of our life all summer. Well, since before summer, but we use our garden a bit more when it’s warmer and we’ve really noticed all the cat poo. Recently Annie stepped in the stuff, and I’ve had a hard time gardening because I have to move the poo whenever I want to trim the grass, or tend to our small vegetable patch. It’s pretty gross picking it up, even when I’m wearing my gardening gloves.
I said to Annie we should get some stronger cat repellent in the form of pellets, because the stuff we bought before clearly wasn’t doing a good job. But Annie worried it might ingest the pellets and harm itself. I said: “First, it’s not our cat, and secondly, they won’t eat the pellets, they aren’t stupid.” Then when Milo, our son, scared the cat out of our garden I thought: good, nice work. I hope the cat remembers and keeps out.
The fact that Martha saw Milo scaring her cat away doesn’t particularly concern me. We don’t know her that well and she was never that friendly. Annie doesn’t like the fact that Martha has blanked us since the incident and wants to go around there with Milo so he can apologise. I don’t think that’s necessary. I’ve told Milo I don’t think he did anything wrong. If Annie wants to go over herself she can, but there’s no real point in taking me and Milo. It’s just a waste of time apologising when really Martha’s cat has been causing us issues for ages.
I wanted to knock on her door some time ago to ask if she could stop Boots pooing on our lawn, but Annie wouldn’t let me. She said, “There’s no point. Martha can’t be held responsible for Boots.” But if it were a dog, everyone would accept that more could be done. I don’t see why cats get off scot-free. Thankfully, since Milo scared off Boots, we haven’t seen him, and I now consider the matter dealt with. Everything is fine. The cat clearly knows our garden is a no-roam zone. If we go around and apologise, it’s teaching Milo that he shouldn’t stand up for himself, and I don’t want that to be a lesson he remembers.
The jury of Guardian readers
Should Hamza apologise to their neighbour to keep the peace?
Hamza makes a good point: cats shouldn’t get off scot-free, but neither should their owners. I “get” that Martha is 90, but she should take some responsibility for her cat’s behaviour, make it use a litter tray and not think it has carte blanche to crap anywhere.
Michael, 58
Disputes between neighbours rarely end well, whether they’re about cats, kids, cars or hedges. Maybe something you’re doing bothers Martha as much as Boots bothers you. Invite her round for tea, apologise for scaring Boots, tell Hamza to get off his high horse, and you’ll soon be working out a solution together.
Chris, 56
Cats will be cats and five-year-olds will be five-year-olds, but these adults need to act like adults and communicate. Talk to the neighbour about why the situation happened and explore how to stop it happening again.
Helen, 50
The cat sounds like a terror and a child certainly shouldn’t be marched over there to say sorry. He’s done nothing wrong! Hamza sounds a bit stubborn but Boots is the real villain.
Anna, 20
Nothing is worth falling out with your neighbours over – and cat poo isn’t too bad in the grand scheme of things. Hamza needs to start visualising what life would be like if he had a squabbling couple next door, or a screaming baby. Come to that: did Martha make a fuss when Milo was a wailing one-year-old?
Roberta, 33
Now you be the judge
In our online poll below, tell us: should Hamza stop getting his hackles up?
The poll closes at 10am BST on Thursday 31 August
Last week’s result
We asked if Jada should give in to Jordan’s badgering to get a dog.
95% of you said no – Jordan is guilty
5% of you said yes – Jordan is innocent
