Everyone has a bad date horror story, whether they came on far too strong or just didn't care at all. Recently, in sharing stories, a number of people who date men have quickly realised a surprising link between the romantic fails - their date's name was Ben.
No, these people aren't all dating the same terrible Ben, instead, the name has started to earn itself a reputation as being someone to avoid on the dating scene.
Aptly named "The Ben Stage" people, mainly women, are taking to TikTok to warn others about the perils of dating someone named Ben. Those who've had run-ins have sworn off the B name for life but is it all just a coincidence?
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The Mirror spoke to Emily, who met her 'Ben Stage' Ben "at an event defined by its day drinking atmosphere."
"We were drunk, and we clicked instantly," said the 22-year-old. The pair went back to her accommodation, only to be interrupted by multiple phone calls.
"The whole time he was receiving calls from this girl, who ended up being his long-term girlfriend," recalled Emily, from London.
They bumped into each other often since they had mutual friends and Ben eventually text Emily to apologise, this spiralled into late-night walks and deep chats - despite the fact he was still with his girlfriend.
Amid daily video calls and constant messaging, Ben promised he would be ending things with his girlfriend as soon as the term ended. Besotted, Emily believed him, especially with Ben saying he was falling in love multiple times.
Unfortunately, Ben had not split with his girlfriend at all and had been cheating on both girls the entire time. Emily and Ben fought and ended things but continued to be "possessive" over each other for another year while talking daily.
"It was such a traumatic situation and made me an emotional wreck for a couple of years, but it definitely taught me a few lessons!" she added.
Emily isn't alone, as Los Angeles-based Raven has shared her own story of a Ben, who she met through a friend of a friend and dated for over two years.
"Ben had gotten a job interview in Chicago and suggested that we go down together for the weekend as his job was reimbursing everything for the trip," the 24-year-old told The Mirror. "Since Ben didn't have a car, I drove us down three and a half hours to the Airbnb."
When they arrived the Airbnb Ben had chosen was in a "sketchy" area, with three generations of a family living there - including a "screaming" baby. Raven left immediately and Ben joined her although "he didn’t say a single word on the way back".
To add insult to injury, traffic made their journey five hours long and Ben "pocketed all of the money his job had given him for gas and parking in reimbursements."
His visit to see Raven in Australia was a breaking point as he said nothing to her during the hour-and-a-half-long journey together, despite not having seen each other in months.
After two years together, Raven broke up with him over the phone and told him never to speak to her again. She added: "He had nothing to say and no apologies. One month later, he texted me at 2:00 in the afternoon and said, 'I miss you'."
Women sharing their experiences could scientifically make things harder for Bens as Pippa Murphy, the sex and relationship expert at condoms.uk, said: "We have a tendency to look for patterns in the world around us. In social psychology, this is known as confirmation bias.
"It's a way of using our past experiences to confirm the things we already believe to be true. In the case of dating, a lot of people are concerned with finding out whether someone has a 'bad' name before they go on a date with them.
"Science even supports this, too; neuroscientists believe that our brains are constantly looking for patterns in the world around us. These patterns help us predict what will happen next, which gives us an advantage when dealing with things like predators or competition over mates.
"So, if you've been hurt by someone who has a certain name before, such as Ben, (or even just heard bad things about them), your brain will see this as evidence that they're bad and look for more clues that confirm it."
Both Raven and Emily consider the name a "red flag" now and Raven believes "Ben’s give themselves a bad reputation."
Emily added: "I think there are just a lot of a**holes out there and a lot of them seem to be called Ben."
Not all hope is lost though as Natasha told The Mirror about her husband Ben who is "one of the kindest people" she's ever met.
She said: "He's really friendly and approachable. He doesn’t take himself too seriously and so has the ability to put people at ease and encourage them to relax and have fun.
Natasha has seen the Ben Stage videos and added: "It's unfortunate that so many women seem to have had a bad time dating a guy named Ben but that’s certainly not my experience. I think it's rather unfair to judge all Bens as a result of a few bad apples."
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