Two friends who met on TikTok are determined to show "going alcohol-free doesn't mean boring".
Lily Quek and Stef Smith started to document their own separate sober journeys on the social media platform. Lily, originally from Fazakerley but now lives in Ormskirk, said the two friends " come from different ends of the alcohol spectrum" but both no longer wanted booze in their life or for it to "control" them.
The 30-year-old told the ECHO she considers herself to be a high-functioning alcoholic, whereas Stef, 38, considers herself to be a binge drinker.
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Lily said: “So we both started our journeys on TikTok because we wanted to document both our journeys into going alcohol free. I consider myself as a high-functioning alcoholic, whereas Stef considers herself as a binge drinker.
“So we both come from different ends of the alcohol spectrum, so to speak, but both decided we no longer wanted booze in our life and we no longer wanted it to control us and we wanted a life without it.
“So we started vlogging on TikTok and I found Stef’s account and when I first saw Stef on TikTok and I was in awe of her and loved everything she was about. I saw her video and commented on one of her videos and said ‘can I apply to be your friend please?’ as a joke."
Following this, the two stuck up a close friendship and have now started their own events company called Flamingo AF. Lily and Stef said this is an alcohol-free event brand that is inclusive for all and brings people together for fun events that don’t involve booze.
Speaking of her own journey to going alcohol-free, Stef said she decided she'd "had enough" of binge drinking every weekend as her mental health and memory were deteriorating.
She told the ECHO : “My journey started from the ex-binge drinker area. I decided I had enough of it. I was a party girl, I was the type of girl who would crack up and go for a prosecco after work on a Friday, drink all weekend, like the majority of people.
“But my anxiety, my dread and my memory were getting worse and worse and worse. Every time I would go out I would black out. I would wake up the next day and I would hate myself.
"That cycle would just continue, the Wednesday I would feel alright, Thursday I would be back buzzing and Friday I would be back on it. It just kept going and going and I decided ‘you know what, enough is enough. I am going to take a month off and tell everybody 'I am not drinking for a month, people can relate to that, don’t invite me out, I will have a month off’.
“So I took a month off and I said ‘wow this feels bloody incredible, I am going to do it for a bit longer’."
From the money she saved, Stef bought a vintage camper van she called Ruby and documented her travels on TikTok. One day her and her friends decided to sail up the Leeds and Liverpool canal on a pink inflatable flamingo, which is where Lily and Stef took inspiration for the name of their company.
Stef, who is originally from Preston but lives in Chorley, said during her sobriety journey one of the difficult things she faced when telling people she was alcohol-free was "having to justify it".
She said: “It’s been really hard, for a few different reasons. The first reason is you have to justify why you’re not drinking to everyone and it’s the only kind of thing you have to do that with.
“But if you're a heroin addict, cocaine addict and you said I am not doing it anymore, everybody would be like ‘that’s really good, I know where you’re coming from’. But if you tell someone you’re not drinking they want to know why and it just becomes so constant people asking and you have to justify why you don’t want to drink.
“That’s what I found hard.”
For Lily she said when she told people she was struggling with a drinking problem, they "didn't believe her".
She said: “From my perspective, from an alcoholic perspective, there’s so much shame attached to that word - alcoholic - I am only 30 and I have three kids and when I first came out and said I have a problem with drinking and I cannot stop, people didn’t believe me.
“Because I was young, I was 30 and people didn’t see what I was going through behind closed doors. When I would go out I would be the party girl, not like I would go out much because I have three kids, but the shame of coming to people and saying ‘I have a problem with booze and I need help’ is really difficult.
“But it is the first step you need to make to ensure recovery. That is one of the main reasons I continued to do this TikTok. I initially started to make myself accountable but as I was going along the journey, I realised how many other people were in the same situation as me, they all struggled with their drinking and they all really needed and wanted [help] but were so ashamed to ask for help that they didn’t.
“But they said they had seen my TikTok and took the relevant steps to help and Stef is the same. It’s not just alcoholism but the binge drinking as well, having people messaging you and saying I have spoken to my doctor about tapering my drink down, there’s no feeling like it.”
After Lily jokingly asked Stef on one of her TikTok videos if she could "apply" to be Stef's mate, their friendship grew quickly. However, the friends said there was little socially for people who were alcohol-free to do apart from the likes of "sober coffee dates" and wanted to introduce fun and inclusive things to do for the sober/curious community.
Lily said: “Me and Stef tried to find stuff to do, alcohol free, you either have to go all the way down South or wait every eight to 10 months for an event. We started by trialling a little mindful event and getting people together and we had to put a waiting list on for that and it really took off.
“From that one event, the first of Flamingo AF was born. We have been overwhelmed and shocked at how well it has been received."
The friends said they were "fed up believing the lie that you have to stay up all night and drink yourself into oblivion to enjoy life". Flamingo AF will be holding "the biggest alcohol-free party" in February next year at the Bloom Building in Birkenhead which has now sold out.
The event includes a DJ, sax player, alcohol-free mixologist, vintage camper van and photo booth. There is also a chill-out area which includes a mini market stalls, a food truck, and more to keep you entertained.
A raffle will also be held to raise money for the Open Door Charity, which offers free talking therapies to young adults between the ages of 17-30. Lily and Stef are also keen to stress that they are a events company and not a support group, however still want to direct people who maybe struggling with alcohol issues to the right people, therefore have asked Alcohol Change UK to have a stall at the party.
The friends also hope to have Russell Brand, who leads an alcohol-free lifestyle, to show his support or even attend the launch party after they campaigned to invite him. They even received a video from comedian and actor himself asking for the friends to tell him more.
The event sold out in three days, however Lily and Stef have plenty more events planned which will happen every month. The friends also have a Facebook group where people can chat and meet one another outside the main monthly events. Please click here to join.
To find out more about Flamingo AF, click here. To follow Stef's TikTok click here and to follow Lily's TikTok click here.
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