Parents nowadays are determined to make their kids’ names as unique as possible. Mostly because they want their children to stand out instead of fitting in in our individualistic society. However, in the process of searching for unusual names or their spellings, their vision might get clouded, making them forget how giving them such a name will affect their child in the future.
It happened with this mom too. Luckily, her friend was there to warn her about it. But she didn’t want to listen to her, as she thought she was being mean and even called her “the worst friend ever,” putting their friendship in jeopardy.
When picking a unique name for their child, parents don’t always think about how their children will be affected by it
Image credits: Norman Milwood / Pexels (not the actual photo)
This woman tried warning her friend about picking a very unusual name for her kid, but she refused to listen
Image credits: Meruyert Gonullu / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Liza Summer / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: addie_maylen
“Parents are really, really worried about their kids being ordinary”
“I think in past generations, parents were much more concerned about their kids’ names fitting in. But in the past 20 years, the focus has been 100% on standing out,” says Laura Wattenberg, founder of Baby Name Wizard. “Parents are really, really worried about their kids being ordinary.”
Indeed, during previous centuries, people impulsively followed tradition, giving children the names that were given before them. “Parents simply did what had always been done,” she says. Funnily enough, Wattenberg points out that in England, boys names John and William remained in the top two for more than 700 years. This can be explained by the fact that naming conventions were rooted in religion and ancestry. As a result, names from the Bible or those associated with other moral attributes were popular.
Over time, the weakening of ties with culture, religion, and family meant that parents had more freedom to choose the names of their children. A person’s name started to become a form of self-expression and society moved towards celebrating individuality and its freedom.
Interestingly, the generation of Boomers was the first one that wanted their children to have cool names. Research has noticed a steady decrease in common names in the US from the 1950s and an analysis of 348 million American baby names across 137 years found that Baby Boomers generated 4 times more new names per thousand people for boys and 2.75 for girls.
With the rise of the Internet, this desire to stand out was amplified, and millennials took it a step further. The introduction of baby name statistics made them feel even more competitive and instead of wanting to be at the top, they preferred to avoid the charts. Nowadays, parents also want their children’s names to signal feminist values and honor their family history in a way that is compatible with modern-day times.
“Pick a name that will last the test of time and that won’t go out of fashion”
One simple way to make a name stand out is to mix up the spelling. Let’s take ‘Sean’ as an example. Alternatively, it could be written as Shawn, Shaun, or even Shawne. Even though it’s spelled differently, its pronunciation remains the same and allows for a more distinct and trendier look.
However, something that parents should keep in mind while doing so is not to make the name too hard to spell for others, as it might have an impact on the little one as they grow up. In her study, psychologist Jean Twenge found that children who have common names with complicated lettering have slower spelling and reading capabilities. “You have the child named Jennifer spelled with a ‘G’ — her teacher says, ‘Are you sure your name is spelled that way?’ That can be incredibly hard on a person’s confidence,” Twenge illustrated in her study.
A person’s unusual name can also impact their career. A study by New York University revealed that hard-to-pronounce names were favored over those who weren’t. In general, familiar, easy-to-pronounce names seem to be more likable and trustworthy. People with more common names even have better luck at being swiped right on dating apps.
Noticing similar challenges Bounty.com research found that a fifth of British parents regret giving their children a unique name and wish they would have chosen a name that was easier to spell. 8% reported being tired of others not pronouncing their children’s names right.
Some countries even regulate names that can be used out of concern that children may face embarrassment, bullying, or even violence. For instance, in Iceland, parents can only choose from an approved government list, and in Germany, names have to be approved and be indicative of gender.
Ultimately, parents should look beyond giving a unique name that makes their child stand out from the crowd and spend more time thinking about the long-term implications for their children. Parenting educator Michael Grose suggests trying the boardroom test to see if the name is suitable for their little one. “Imagine your kid walking into an important meeting and introducing themselves, then picture the reaction of others,” he said.
If the parents sense that the name might raise an eyebrow or a few, it’s best to reconsider it. “Pick a name that will last the test of time and that won’t go out of fashion. Think long-term,” he said. “You get one chance to make a good first impression and a name has a lot to do with that,” he concludes.
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