An important part of living in the 21st century is the ability of everyone, regardless of race, gender, religion, or really any other demographic indicator to be whatever they want to be. While this often doesn’t work in practice, it’s still generally a noble goal to strive after.
TikToker and self-proclaimed traditional wife Jasmine Darke shared a video where she indicated that she wants to raise her daughter to become a homemaker. This sparked a debate online, as people discussed gender roles and whether or not it is fair to a child to be forced into this sort of lifestyle.
More info: TikTok
Some people prefer to be homemakers instead of working a regular job
But one woman caused some controversy online when she wanted her young daughter to embrace this lifestyle
You can watch the full video here
@jasminedinis2 In a world full of women teaching their children that their only goal is to go to university, get a good job and make money, I’m teaching my little girl to live a slow life, to be a biblical women that wants a husband & a beautiful family that she can serve daily. That joy comes from God & family, not from a career 🕊️🤍 #homesteading #tradwife #motherhood #foryoupage #stayathomemom #conservative ♬ original sound – Jasmine Dinis
There is a niche movement espousing the virtues of being a housewife
Jasmine Darke is just one of many influencers who have found their niche espousing a certain kind of idealized lifestyle that harkens beach to an imagined vision of the past. In some circles, you might see these sorts of women described as “tradwives” or “traditional wives.” This phenomenon has been growing in popularity lately, creating the impression that all of life’s problems can be solved by simply finding a well-off husband. Why these “traditional wives” chose to still document all of it for the internet is anyone’s guess.
The basics of this lifestyle involve submitting to a husband whom you are financially dependent on and never having any ambitions beyond raising children. There is also an aesthetic commitment to cosplaying as a 19th-century substance farmer or at least a caricature of a 1950s housewife.
Some researchers suggest that this could be a result of internalized sexism, where the woman has bought into the idea that she is inferior and can only be happy by reducing themselves to domestic servitude. In other cases, it comes from a lack of understanding about life in the past and just accepting a pretty romanticized view presented in, of all places, advertisements.
Image credits: Klaus Nielsen (not the actual photo)
While the idea might seem appealing, the risks are pretty high
Whether or not this idea is ridiculous is beyond the point, people are free to live the way they chose. Human beings are free to make poor decisions. However, the controversy caused by this video is less about how Jasmine Darke chooses to live, but the fact that she appears to be pushing this lifestyle on her daughter.
Mrs. Darke has chosen to forgo a career or really any independence from her husband, that is her prerogative. Should he die, be incapacitated, or end up being abusive (which would be in line with common behavior from the 19th century or the 1950s, she does not have much recourse, but this is a risk she chose to take.
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
Ultimately, children need to be able to choose and consent to a lifestyle independent of a parent’s beliefs
This isn’t to say that it’s the worst thing in the world, after all, who wouldn’t want to just do some chores around the house while someone else works? This all sounds fine and dandy until you really sit down and consider the risks. What will being out of the job market for a few years do to your career? What if you realize you don’t like it? What if your spouse suddenly can’t provide? Even worse, what if you become so dependent that you simply can’t leave and the relationship turns sour? As adults, we have to keep these things in mind and not just engage with wishful thinking.
However, her young daughter doesn’t exactly have the capacity to understand the choices her mother is making for her and doesn’t have the power to do anything about it anyway. This is a bigger problem than just this story, as very many children end up pushed down paths picked out by their parents.
Ultimately, a child needs the opportunity to make choices later in life. It’s exceedingly rare that kids forced into certain life paths don’t end up hating them and are filled with resentfulness. Even worse, removing these opportunities later will make it much harder for young adults to actually achieve the life they want to live.
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
Many readers thought this was a terrible thing to teach a young girl
But some supported her ideas
