It’s tough being a parent and its even tougher being a step-parent. But it is especially hard when the biological mum doesn’t want you involved. That is the experience of a mum of two, who has been ranting on Mumsnet about blended families - or not in her case. She is exasperated at her husband, who doesn’t listen to her concerns, and neither does bio mum, who seems to walk all over her.
"We have 2 sons, a 15 month old and 3 weeks old," she explains. "He has a 5 year old with a previous partner. We have shared custody and a 'blended family' but I wouldn’t call it a blended family," she says.
"I’ve known my stepson since he was 16 months and have been a consistent figure in his life. I throw birthday parties, look after him when he’s sick, when I’m sick, when his bio mum is sick."
"I do the school run 3 days of the week. In return she complains and b****s about me to MY partner, her ex of nearly 5 years on a weekly if not daily basis.” You’ve got to have some sympathy for this saintly step mum.
"I don’t prioritise my children over him. I love him as if he’s my own. I have four years of pent up anger from her just being blatantly rude and disrespectful to/about me and I have never once retaliated or responded and I want to scream and hurl every insult under the sun at her. I just feel completely invalidated I suppose."
Step-parenting can be sore subject and it has opened a few wounds on Mumsnet. One has some advice: "I’ve been a SM [stepmum] for almost a decade and still stumble through a lot of these situations. Give fewer f**ks."
Another had some stern words for the mum's partner: "I think a lot of your issue actually stems from your partner not protecting you away from this women’s negative attitude and trying to guilt you into 'treating all his children' the same. This is not fair as you sound like a nice and involved SM. I think you need to tell your partner to step up!"
One comment went further, saying it like it is: "You are letting the Ex walk all over you as well as wiping her feet on you. She’s rude, nasty, vile and disrespectful to you and rude, nasty, vile and disrespectful people don’t get favours like on demand child care. You are letting yourself be used and treated like an unpaid servant. Stop it.
