The truth can really, really hurt, no matter how necessary it might be. Sometimes this can mean telling a friend that, actually, they made some terrible choices and perhaps need to rethink their life. But more often than not, folks end up just taking offense.
A woman asked the internet for advice after telling her friend that she married a “useless man” who could neither provide, nor help with the kids. Unfortunately, her friend did not see it the same way. We reached out to the woman who shared the question via private message and will update the article when she gets back to us.
A harsh truth has to be handled with care
Image credits: Jenna Norman / unsplash (not the actual photo)
But one woman ended up having an argument with her friend after telling her what she thought about her husband
Image credits: DragonImages / envato (not the actual photo)
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The children’s parents should be able to figure out a way to take care of them
Image credits: Vidal Balielo Jr. / pexels (not the actual photo)
For some people, the “traditional” gender roles are so ingrained that they can’t really accept that someone is simply useless. For example, the woman who needed childcare help, she seems to have just accepted that her husband, the father of their children, is simply incapable of taking care of his own offspring.
It’s true that some people are just not good with kids, but someone has to take care of them. If he can’t somehow manage to be around his own offspring, a pretty big red flag, then he could at least provide enough for someone else to do it for him. If this woman feels like it’s not a man’s responsibility to look after kids, she should then at least believe that he must provide. It’s not necessarily wrong to ask a friend for help, but there are requests that are just too unreasonable.
So even by the most traditional gender standards, he is useless, let alone from the much more modern idea that both partners need to carry their own weight. Unfortunately, this is a couple that is not willing to make the lifestyle changes they need to actually raise their children and, instead, are trying to leech off of a single mom. Unfortunately, particularly when there are income inequalities, some people see their friends as walking ATMs.
Uncomfortable truths are very often the cause of drama and arguments
Image credits: Engin Akyurt / pexels (not the actual photo)
Deep down, there is a very real chance that this woman actually understands just how “useless” her husband is. This does not mean that she has accepted it and is willing to be open about it. Indeed, reminders of something that is close and personal to you can be pretty difficult. So it’s natural, although perhaps not healthy, to lash out when someone tells you the truth.
Deep down, we build narratives and a self image that is designed to protect us from the harsh realities of the world. Marrying a disappointment is never comfortable, but it’s reality for a lot of folks. People tend to be able to make their peace with these situations, but having it “flaunted” in public, even in a private conversation, can seem like it’s too much.
Ultimately, there are some arguments for the single mom to be more “diplomatic,” but the request from her friend was simply unreasonable. She, of all people, should know how hard and expensive it can be to have kids. This is why a “babysitter” is a job, not just something people do for fun. Hopefully, this can be a wake up call for her to get her family in line and her husband to do at least the bare minimum.
Many readers sided with the single mom
