No two people or relationships are the same, which is why while some can’t wait to get married, others see no point in taking this step in life.
This redditor’s views on marriage weren’t exactly the same as those of her partner; she made it clear that she wanted marriage early in the relationship, but it took 25 years and four children for him to propose. The OP shared with the AITAH community that when he finally did, she felt apathetic and even rolled her eyes, which made her wonder if she was being a jerk to her partner.
Not every person is equally interested in marriage
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This redditor made sure her boyfriend knew she wanted to marry, but it took him 25 years to propose nevertheless
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Image credits: Throwawayproposalfin
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The OP provided an update on how things between her and her boyfriend developed after the proposal
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Image credits: Throwawayproposalfin
Image credits: Emma Bauso / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Love is reportedly the main reason couples decide to get married
People can have hundreds of reasons (not) to get married, but some seem to be more common than others. According to Pew Research Center’s 2018 data, love is the one that tops the list, as nearly nine-in-ten Americans get married encouraged by it.
Other coupled-up people do it because they want to strengthen their commitment to each other (roughly 81% of them reportedly get married led by such a motivating factor) or because they seek companionship (76%) and want to have children (49%), both of which can exist without marriage, as the OP’s example showed.
But even though creating a family is possible without getting married, quite a few redditors in the comments pointed out that in situations similar to the OP’s, marriage can provide a certain level of stability in life. That’s why for roughly one fourth of those surveyed in 2018, financial stability as well as legal rights and benefits were the among the main reasons for getting married.
According to a divorce lawyer, Nicole K. Levy, marriage defines a critical moment in life when, upon such a union, in the vocabulary of two individuals, the word I is replaced by the word we. Consequently, that typically entails changes in numerous significant aspects of life, such as acquiring property, handling retirement benefits and taxes, as well as receiving social security benefits.
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The number of marriages has been declining over the past several decades
Despite certain financial or legal stability that marriage might entail, such a union has been on a decline over the last several decades. Back in 1990, for instance, there were close to 2.5 million marriages in the US, while just a couple of years ago, in 2021, the number didn’t even climb over the 2 million mark.
As for getting married, the reasons for not taking such a step differ with each person, too, but finances seem to be what’s stopping them the most. A 2019 survey of people wishing to get married some time in the future found that nearly a third of them thought that their partner or they themselves were not financially ready for such a commitment.
Other commonly cited reasons were the partner not being ready to commit to the relationship, respondents not being far along in terms of their careers, having doubts about the partner being the right person, or being unsure about their own readiness to take such a significant step.
The OP didn’t reveal what her boyfriend’s reasons were for postponing the proposal for 25 years, even though she made it clear she wanted marriage early in their relationship. But it seems that it wasn’t his reasoning fellow redditors were interested in the most, as many citizens wanted to know why the OP stayed with her partner for all these years.
Fellow redditors shared their insight and opinions in the comments
