A woman has told of her “traumatic struggle” to get an abortion in the UK after she became pregnant as a result of being raped.
Speaking to The Independent, Alana said it was a “massive shock” to learn she was pregnant with her rapist’s baby weeks after the incident took place.
The 32-year-old said she felt compelled to share her personal story after the US Supreme Court overturned Roe v Wade – the landmark decision that legalised abortion nationwide in 1973 – at the end of June.
Abortion has already been banned in at least eight states in America, while more than half of US states are expected to ban abortion or heavily restrict policies in the wake of the Supreme Court’s decision, with some states set to ban abortions even when a pregnancy is a result of rape or incest.
Alana, who has never spoken to the media before, said it makes her “feel sick” no exceptions are permitted for women who want abortions because their pregnancy is the result of rape.
“I feel really sad for women like me,” Alana, who lives in the North of England, added. “But this is also happening to young girls. We are putting their mental health at risk by forcing them to carry a rapist’s baby to term they do not want. It is just sickening.”
Recalling her personal experience from a few years ago, Alana said the rape occurred after she ran into a friend of hers on a night out and went back to his house with a group of friends.
She added: “We were all drunk. I fell asleep. All my friends had left but they didn’t think there would be an issue as he was a friend of ours. His house was somewhere I’d been before multiple times.
“He was someone I trusted – someone I’d been alone with before. I woke up with him on top of me. He was inside of me. I had no knickers on. I got my stuff and left immediately.”
Alana, whose name has been changed, said she went straight to her local hospital where she was given both a hepatitis and HIV shot in case she had been exposed while having sex.
“When I got to the hospital, I thought I’m not going to the police,” she added. “All I could think about was my dad and how upset he would be. He is extremely protective. I knew it would ruin his life. He wouldn’t be able to get over it.”
After the incident, Alana said she started to self-medicate by taking codeine. “I am very lucky not to be dead,” she added. “I did not want to feel anything. It felt much easier to feel numb and not feel things. I went to the GP and reported what had happened. They were incredible with me. I was open about the codeine and they tapered me off and got me on anti-anxiety medication instead.”
Alana said she wound up losing her job in hospitality as she explained she was not feeling well enough to engage with customers.
She added: “Then I found out I was pregnant. I felt numb and empty. I was doing better. I thought I’m getting on my feet again. But it wasn’t getting easier at all. It was about to get a lot worse. It was hard when I found out it was a gestation of 11 weeks.
“There was never a doubt in my mind I was having an abortion. A rapist is not the type of person I’d want to have a child with. I just couldn’t.”
Alana said she was plagued by delays while seeking an abortion and could only be given her first appointment three weeks after she discovered she was pregnant, meaning she was 15 weeks pregnant by the time she had the appointment.
“I could feel it,” Alana, who was on contraception when she fell pregnant, added. “If you have been pregnant before you can feel foetal movement such as kicks earlier. I had a little bit of a tummy so I wore a lot of baggy jumpers and t-shirts.”
Scar tissue from her previous C-section meant a doctor told her they could not safely give her an abortion that day, she said, adding she was informed she would have to go to a specialist service.
“I rang this number and they said the one hospital that could see me is Homerton hospital in London,” Alana added. “The next available appointment was when I was 20 weeks pregnant.”
Her comments come after The Independent recently reported women seeking abortions are having to travel hundreds of miles to access care as “untenable” waiting times put unsustainable pressure on services.
Those seeking surgical and late-stage abortions in the UK are being forced to cross the country for care because of availability gaps in their area, while “messy” NHS systems are forcing private providers to turn women away, The Independent was told.
Alana, who lives over 200 miles from the hospital in east London, said she had to take multiple trains to get to the hospital, adding that she did not tell any friends or family she was having the abortion.
She said: “I was 20 weeks by the time I got Hackney to have the abortion. Nobody knew I was there. Not even my best friend. I chose not to tell her as she was heavily against abortion but her views have now changed.”
Alana, who had her travel and accommodation paid for, said she was shocked she was discharged from the hospital around five hours after she went into surgery.
She recalled: “It feels bonkers. It is a medical procedure but I feel like it gets played down because of what it is. I was expected to just sit in an uncomfortable plastic chair after surgery.
“I had to carry a wheelie suitcase back home. I travelled home the same day as having general anaesthetic.
“I was bleeding. I had stomach cramps. I was tired and groggy. I hadn’t eaten anything as you can’t eat for 24 hours before surgery. Once I got home, it was five days before the blood loss and stomach cramps stopped.”
Alana explained she tried to take her own life soon after the abortion due to her mental health deteriorating as a result of the rape. However, she is now in a much better place, she said, revealing she has gone back to school to study and is proud of herself for the progress she has made.
She added: “I know mine is a really extreme example but I am very pro-abortion overall. This is your body. Do not let anyone hold your body hostage. If my kid’s girlfriend needed an abortion, I would be happy to drive her to that clinic.
“There is nothing inside of me that has any guilt about my abortion. There has not been a second of a day where I thought: ‘Should I have had it?’ Even at rock bottom, I knew I made the right decision.”
If you have been raped, sexually assaulted or abused, there are many places you can turn to for help. If anybody is at immediate risk, dial 999, otherwise you can call the police on 101. You can find your nearest rape and sexual assault referral centre here. You could get help from voluntary organisations such as Rape Crisis, Women’s Aid, Victim Support, The Survivors Trust or Male Survivors Partnership; the 24-hour freephone National Domestic Abuse Helpline, run by Refuge, on 0808 2000 247; the Rape Crisis national freephone helpline on 0808 802 9999 (12 to 2.30pm and 7 to 9.30pm every day of the year); a hospital emergency department; a GP or practice nurse; a genito-urinary medicine (GUM) or sexual health clinic; or call NHS 111 or get help from 111 online.
