Giving gifts during the holiday season is often the best way to spread joy and good cheer. People tend to go out of their way to get lovely and thoughtful things for their loved ones. Traditions like Secret Santa also help keep the magic alive by pushing folks to think about what presents to give and what they’ll get back.
Unfortunately, this idea can also go very wrong, as the woman in this story soon came to realize. She received the worst bunch of presents, full of expired, smelly, old, and used items.
More info: Mumsnet
The Secret Santa gift exchange can be a very fun way to celebrate the holidays where everyone ends up with a wonderful gift, and nobody feels left out
The poster had received a terrible Secret Santa gift from her colleague that contained chocolate which had expired in 2020, old nail polish, used socks, and coffee pods
The woman felt disgusted by her “gifts” because of how old and used the items seemed, and she also mentioned that the presents were giving off a “charity shop” smell
The poster mentioned that she was definitely going to throw all the items away and that she would have been okay receiving anything else, just not things like this
Image credits: SecretSantafrom202
Image credits: SecretSantafrom202
The woman’s office management found out about her Secret Santa gift, and they were also disgusted by the items
The tradition of Secret Santa is usually wonderful and a great experience for all involved. People are pushed out of their comfort zones to get a gift for their friends or colleagues, and they also receive something fun in return. This OP’s experience of being given terrible gifts shows that there can be shocking downsides to even such fun events.
To understand more about gift giving, Bored Panda reached out to Jeff Galak, the co-founder of GiftStar AI and associate professor of marketing at Carnegie Mellon University. We asked him if there were any downsides to the Secret Santa gifting idea.
He said, “the risk is that you get matched with someone who you really don’t know much about. That could be a coworker in an office exchange or a distant relative in a family. When you don’t know much about the recipient, it’s hard to give a meaningful gift.”
We also asked Dr. Victor Counted to weigh in on the Secret Santa idea. Dr. Victor has degrees in the fields of theology, philosophy, and the social sciences, as well as doctorates in the psychology of religion and health psychology.
He told us that the downsides of this event “would be the problem of misinterpreted preferences due to the anonymity that comes with gifting. While it is important to source out what a person prefers as a gift, sometimes, this is not always possible. One solution would be to remember what gifting is all about: creating a bond/connection between the receiver and the giver.”
“On the one hand, the receiver should receive the gift with grace and gratitude, but on the other hand, the giver should be motivated by love. I think that when both the giver and receiver approach gifting with the right intentions, it reduces the chances of disappointment. This way, even if the gift isn’t ideal, the exchange strengthens the connection, which is the ultimate goal,” Dr. Victor added.
To be fair, the OP would probably have been okay with whatever simple gift she received, but the worn-out and stinky items were definitely unacceptable!
“Words can mean a lot; it costs nothing to put time into a really well-written note telling that person what they mean to you,” said Alex Perry, who is a top luxury real estate agent in Dallas and Texas and ranks 13th in the nation. He started the ‘Alex Perry On Fire’ podcast to engage people in deep discussions on achieving balance in life.
Alex mentioned that “whether you’re a good artist or not, it costs very little to try and create something artistic. Action is powerful, too. You can go on a meaningful walk and talk about life or set up a time to play with animals. Anything that detaches you from the everyday grind can be a gift to you and someone else.”
People were obviously shocked by the state of the woman’s Secret Santa presents. Some felt that the gifter might be down on their luck and unable to afford anything else. The OP then mentioned that it was an “opt-in” office tradition, so someone who didn’t have the means to take part in it could choose not to do so.
Jeff Galak did mention that “American families regularly incur credit card debt around the holidays in order to meet the obligations of giving gifts. The problem with that is that there’s absolutely no evidence that doing so makes recipients happier. Specifically, the amount a gift costs has almost nothing to do with how much a recipient likes it.”
“Instead, what recipients care about is the thoughtfulness of the gift. A caring card can mean as much as an expensive bit of electronics. Recipients want to know that someone is thinking about them and cares for them. So consider free or nearly free gifts like cards, framed photos, or something similarly inexpensive next time you are struggling to find enough money to buy holiday gifts,” he explained.
It is possible that OP’s colleague who gave her the used items probably thought that giving her something was better than there being nothing. What they didn’t realize is how hurt and disgusted she felt having been given a random bunch of thoughtless gifts. That’s why we asked Dr. Victor to explain what the essence of a good gift is.
He told us, “at the end of the day, a meaningful gift should reflect thoughtfulness, creativity, and most importantly, love. Love would be the main drive, though, because once there is love, there would be enduring thoughts to nurture the intimacy and passion that comes with love.”
Alex Perry also told us that to give a really thoughtful gift, “you must listen for clues to make sure they really want that item or experience and are not just making a random comment. You have to be really careful with jewelry, as it is such a specific thing. I once bought a girlfriend (now ex) a ring that I thought she wanted, but as it turns out, she wanted a different ring, as that one reminded her of something she wanted to forget.”
The OP did mention that she was friends with the colleague who gave her the gifts, so it’s kind of obvious that the person did not care as much for her. What’s extremely clear after this incident is that the OP will probably never take part in a Secret Santa event ever again!
What do you think about the situation, and what would your reaction have been if you received presents like this?
Folks were grossed out by the woman’s gifts and gave her many ideas on how to subtly “call out” the colleague
