If there’s anything I have learned from the web series Friends, it’s that even the closest of friendships can face conflict. At times, they get resolved pretty quickly and the fight turns into a thing of the past, but there are times when things go beyond repairable.
Even the original poster (OP) felt that her friendship with her bestie of 15 years was tainted after she didn’t invite her to her birthday party. On top of it, she didn’t even gift the woman on her birthday, as they did every year, intensifying the rift between them!
More info: Mumsnet
Conflicts with friends are natural, and while some are resolved quickly, some just ruin the friendship
The poster’s friend of 15 years had a milestone birthday and was going to have a big party, which eventually did not happen
Image credits: Savingthehedgehogs
However, the poster got to know from another friend that it did happen only with “close friends,” which they were, but she still didn’t invite her
Image credits: Savingthehedgehogs
Even on the poster’s birthday, the friend didn’t give her a card and gift like they generally did, so the poster felt she was cooling down their friendship
Image credits: Savingthehedgehogs
The poster confronted her, she apologized and tried to make plans, but the poster felt like their friendship was “tainted” and wondered what to give her for her birthday
Today’s story is about a friendship that didn’t make it to forever as no invitation to a birthday party led to tons of drama. What happened was that the poster had a close friend of over 15 years who had a milestone birthday and OP gave her a thoughtful gift and also sent her flowers.
Now, this friend was supposed to have a big party, but it didn’t end up happening, or so the poster thought. One day, she found out from another friend that she had a small party with just “close friends” that included their mutual ones as well. It definitely sounds strange, doesn’t it?
This must’ve hurt OP, but things escalated further when her friend didn’t send her a card and a gift like she sends every birthday, turning things completely sour for the poster. Well, she just assumed that her friend wanted to cool down their friendship or prioritize other friends over her.
The poster is someone who prefers honesty so she didn’t shy away from confronting her friend about this, and received quite sincere apologies from her. However, she just didn’t feel like things were good between the two now and mentioned that their friendship felt “tainted”.
Even when her friend had reached out to make plans together, OP didn’t really feel like it, so that’s why the main dilemma arose when it was time for her friend’s birthday again. The poster vented online and asked whether she should send her a card and gift as usual or send her nothing at all.
According to Loughborough University, conflicts between friends can arise due to jealousy, poor communication, or a lack of respect for another person. However, this situation is quite tricky as the friend suddenly started acting strange without any reason, as opposed to the smooth friendship of the past 15-plus years.
Many people online pointed out that it did sound like a friendship where the poster was giving more than her 100%, while it was not being reciprocated by the friend. Quite a few mentioned that such friendships were not worth keeping as it was not one of equality, and even OP commented that her friend always came to her only when she had problems.
The poster also revealed that she found it quite demeaning and folks online couldn’t help but agree with her. They advised that for this birthday, she could just text her wishes via text, but slowly fade away from her life as it was just another unnecessary thing to worry about for someone who didn’t even care much.
Psychology Today states, “You can change no one but yourself. Not everyone wants to be what others want them to be and you may have to decide when it’s time to draw the line and walk away from your friends you are in conflict with.”
Looks like what netizens advised might be the best solution after all, don’t you think so? If you were in the poster’s shoes, how would you handle such behavior from a close friend? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!
Folks online agreed with her that it was a fading friendship and advised her that it would be better if she slowly ended it
