A woman who felt like an "imposter" her whole life finally understood herself after receiving a "shock" diagnosis at the age of 59.
Julia Hardman, 62, remembers a teacher calling her "a numbskull, stupid and thick" and throwing board dusters at her because she "didn't learn like other kids". The woman from St Helens struggled to read and do times tables, and at five years old, she was placed in the "dunce" class, for which she was bullied, leaving her feeling "humiliated and embarrassed".
These emotions followed her into adulthood. Even in jobs she excelled at, Julia said: "I've just thought I'm a bit of an imposter, just flying by the seat of my pants, not really understanding the problems with my short-term memory, my time blindness, I could go on and on."
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Being diagnosed with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) was a revelation for Julia, who finally understood why she was constantly fidgeting and doodling in school and beyond - it gave her the dopamine fix ADHD brains need.
The neurodevelopmental condition can cause higher levels of impulsivity and distractibility, and affects memory, organisational skills, concentration, and the processing of emotions. ADHD is thought to be equally common across sexes, but males are nearly three times more likely to be diagnosed than females, because the condition can present differently between the sexes.
People with ADHD are more likely to suffer from mental health conditions like depression, anxiety and substance abuse. This is often caused by the negative self-image people with ADHD may have of themselves, stemming from failing to meet deadlines, remember obligations or follow instructions.
This can be even worse when the person has no diagnosis or understanding of how their brain works. But adults can wait up to six or seven years for an assessment on the NHS, despite its obligation to provide specialist treatment within 18 weeks of a GP referral. Appointments from private provider Psychiatry UK, paid for by the NHS on the Right to Choose scheme, currently have a waiting list of six months.
Julia had previously been diagnosed with dyslexia and dyspraxia at the age of 43 while doing her first degree, in psychology at Edge Hill University. But there were still unanswered questions until her diagnosis with ADHD, which often co-exists with conditions like dyslexia and dyspraxia. She told the ECHO: "I'd never seen myself as ADHD. If I'm really truthful with you, it's only in the last three years I've really understood myself and understood why I do what I do."
Despite being branded "thick" as a child, Julia has always performed well at things she's passionate about, including her time working with Slimming World and studying psychology and social work. She said: "What a lot of people don't understand with ADHD is, if I get something I'm really interested in - so if I'm doing a report, and I really like doing the report, I become so hyper-focused that I don't hear people. I just zone completely into my work.
"When I was doing all my studies, my husband used to have to say, 'Right, it's nine o'clock now, you're switching off', because I would just keep going and going and going, and just can carry on. It's that energy when I'm really interested in it. But if it was a maths exam, forget it - you'd lose me and I'd be zoning out."
Now, Julia uses Reiki, a Japanese therapy, to help her wind down and switch her brain off so she doesn't suffer burnout. Learning coping strategies like this helps her do things she previously struggled with, which is something she helps others to do in her current role.
Julia gets "a lot of job satisfaction" from working as a therapist for the ADHD Foundation, based in Liverpool. She said: "Doing the job now, I feel really passionate about it because I've been in primary schools working with children, doing observations in classrooms, and I can see children are just not accessing their education because they can't do that concentration. And I was that child."
She added: "I feel sad that it's still happening today. I just think if the government actually put in the resources, and everyone got tested for every type of neurodiversity going at primary school, we wouldn't have the mental health issues that I'm dealing with in schools.
"I have lost count of how many children who have got some neurodiversity, but have gone under the radar. I work with a young person in college, clearly autistic, clearly ADHD, clearly got sensory issues, which comes with any neurodiversity. She's 17, how the heck has she got missed in the system? And her confidence, self-esteem and mental health were on the floor."
Julia is an example of how it doesn't have to be that way when the right support and understanding is in place. She was once in the same boat before the diagnosis changed her life. But now, she said: "I embrace my quirky ways instead of berating myself."
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