Your home should be your safe haven, where you can design and set up everything just the way you like it. The outside garden is then the best place to bring some nature and greenery to the area. All of this seems perfect, but trouble can start brewing if someone purposely invades your space.
A woman was faced with this when a 10-year-old girl deliberately started walking on her wall and ruining the plants she had there. This ramped up into even more aggressive behavior when other kids joined in and started doing the same.
More info: Mumsnet
It might be unpleasant to deal with people who intentionally invade your home’s personal space over and over again
The lady said she has a wall that’s 2 feet high at the edge of her garden with some plants growing near it
During the last year, she noticed the neighbor’s 10-year-old daughter walking along the wall, and once the rude kid even gave her the finger when her mother wasn’t looking
Things became tougher when more kids began hanging out on the woman’s wall and calling her a “Karen” for trying to stop them from having fun
The woman felt a bit more nervous because she had been bullied and burgled in the past, and the children’s behavior felt just like they were taunting her
One of the reasons why the neighbor’s daughter kept climbing on and off the wall was because it was only 2 feet high. She probably thought of it as a fun pastime, which is why she involved her friends later on. The problem is that the preteens didn’t keep to themselves, they went out of their way to annoy and goad the poster.
It’s tough to confront and discipline children who aren’t your own, and that’s why the OP resorted to a few passive-aggressive actions. To understand how to deal with such a complicated situation, Bored Panda reached out to Camilla Miller.
She is the mum of two teenagers, an award-winning blogger, author, and parenting coach dedicated to helping families understand their children and bring out the best in them. She offers expert online coaching to empower parents with effective strategies for nurturing positive behavior and building strong relationships.
Camilla told us that “when kids are being rude, it’s important to understand what’s driving their actions so you can respond more effectively. The girl is walking along the wall when she knows it’s not okay, stepping on plants and throwing rude gestures when she thinks no one is watching, goading, and showing off with friends. These are all signs that she’s trying to feel powerful.”
“While I don’t know her family dynamics, it seems she doesn’t have clear boundaries, expectations, or guidance. Children who lack this kind of support often feel powerless and struggle with self-control and low self-esteem. They don’t know how to respect others because they haven’t been taught.”
Since the woman decided to speak to the kids directly and create some obstacles on the wall with the help of her plants, the preteens began acting out even more. They called the OP a Karen and made comments about how she was “spoiling their lives,” which is, of course, extremely dramatic.
The woman took all of the kids’ actions and comments to heart. She felt hurt by their words and told netizens that they seemed to be taunting her. Most parents say that children tend to act out occasionally and that you shouldn’t take their actions personally. It’s important to stay calm and to talk to them like they are adults.
Camilla also told us that “since she has already tried to set boundaries with the child and nothing has changed, she could start the interaction by acknowledging the child’s perspective first. For example, she might say, ‘Looks like you’re used to climbing on the wall; it seems fun! I’m trying to grow my plants, and they need to stay safe.’”
“By connecting with what the child wants, we help them feel heard, which lowers their defenses and makes them more receptive to listening. After this, you can ask, ‘What can we do about this?’ This question encourages the child to think of a solution, making them feel involved while still reinforcing her need to protect her space.”
“Finding solutions together not only empowers the child to meet their need for power in healthier ways, but it also fosters communication and respect. That said, holding your boundaries can be tough, especially with kids who haven’t learned to respect them. Their lack of experience might make them less responsive at first, so patience and consistency are key.”
Many people advised the OP to confront the children’s parents about their bad behavior. Others shared a ton of creative suggestions, from playing music the kids wouldn’t like to planting spiky plants along the border that would make it tough for them to climb or sit on.
If talking to the children’s parents doesn’t work, there are many simple strategies for protecting your wall from intruders. Security experts state that you can:
- Use anti-climb paint, which has a thick, oily coating and remains slippery for at least three years.
- Install an alarm system that can help secure the wall and garden gate.
- Place barbed wire or spikes on top of the wall, but only after cross-checking whether it’s legal to do so in your state or county.
It’s tough to know exactly what to do when dealing with rude kids that aren’t yours. This woman felt like she was being bullied by the preteens. Hopefully, all of the amazing suggestions filled her with the courage to deal with the situation so that she’d eventually have her wall all to herself.
Do you have any suggestions for ways to keep kids from taking over a person’s garden wall? Share your ideas in the comments.
Netizens suggested many creative ideas to stop the kids from sitting on the wall, right from getting a dog to playing music they wouldn’t like
