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Wales Online
Wales Online
National
Angharad Thomas

Woman at breaking point after husband asks to go for drinks with ex-mistress

A woman is heartbroken after her husband asked to pursue a friendship with his former mistress just months after she found out about the year-long affair.

The wife explained on the popular forum Mumsnet that she and her husband had been married for three years and together for nine, but found out recently that he had been having an affair with his work colleague. After she found out, she claimed her husband begged her to stay and that he was trying to end it with his mistress before the wife found out and promised not to speak to her again.

However, the husband has now gone back on his word. On the 'am I being unreasonable' thread, the wife wrote: "Two months later he is now saying he wants to meet up with her and her two friends (a couple) for drinks sometimes as he misses his friendship with her. He is refusing to let me meet her as he thinks it will cause drama.

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"Then I got very upset last night about him wanting to pursue a friendship with her again he got very defensive with me and made out I was being unreasonable.

"I need to end this marriage don’t I?! He is completely overstepping any boundaries I needed him to adhere to. Even if he’s telling the truth and it is 100% platonic (which I very much doubt as she was/is in love with him and he definitely had strong feelings too) then am I wrong to still think it’s not ok for them to hang out together after everything?"

She added: "It’s as if my self-esteem has been destroyed and I’ve been manipulated over and over again to the point I now don’t know what is ok or not ok in a marriage anymore."

The wife explained in another post that her husband was making her out to be cruel for not allowing them to hang out, as he claims he would have left her if he wanted to be with his mistress and "just misses their friendship."

Many Mumsnet users were shocked by the husband's disrespectful request, with the majority agreeing that the wife "deserved better." One woman said: "He is completely overstepping the mark and manipulating you to think it's ok. Without being too harsh, the marriage is over. He doesn't respect you, if he did he would never even mention her name again."

Others agreed, saying: "He has no respect for you and 'pursuing a friendship' with this woman is an attempt to carry on with his mistress under your very nose." Another added: "He is treating you like a complete mug! And you are standing by and allowing it! Sorry that sounds harsh but you deserve so much better."

One commenter suggested that the wife was being gaslighted, saying: "You don't get to rekindle a 'friendship' with someone you cheated on your wife with if you want to stay with your wife. If he is making you seem unreasonable for not being cool with that proposition that he is gaslighting you massively."

Let us know your thoughts in the comments beneath this article.

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