A woman is fuming after having to pay towards a meal for an uninvited guest during a friend's birthday dinner. She took to Mumsnet to explain that her close-knit group of 15 years had organised to take their friend out to dinner for her birthday, and one friend decided to bring his wife.
The woman posted in the 'am I being unreasonable' thread complaining about having to contribute to the wife's part of the £170 bill. She wrote: "Went for dinner for a friend's birthday who we hadn't seen for a while and who had come all the way down from another city. This friend has had a rough year so we were treating her to dinner.
"Male friend at the last minute asked if he could bring his wife along as she really wanted to join us. Fine but a bit annoying as she's not really a part of this friendship group that we'd formed 15 years ago at work but we've spent enough time with her as he has a habit of bringing her along to everything. So four of us (who once worked together) plus this wife.
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"The couple ordered extra starters, sides and alcoholic drinks. He made a comment a couple of times that 'we'll pay extra for our bits'. Myself, other friend and birthday girl don't drink so had a soft drink each and one starter and one main.
"The bill came to £170. Our food and drinks came to around £25 each for the non-drinkers. The couple spent the rest. Male friend and his wife took it upon themselves to work the bill out and spent at least 5 mins doing it. As the birthday girl is close friends with the three of us (not the wife), I expected him to split her part between the three of us, and then split the rest of the bill according to what we roughly ordered. Instead he said that myself and the other non-drinking friend owed £48 each, and he paid £74. So he paid only £26 extra when he was supposed to be paying for 2 adults (himself and his wife) plus the non-drinking birthday girl (who's food and drink came to £25 and should have been split three ways).
"Isn't this unfair? I feel like we also paid towards his uninvited wife. We paid it without saying anything as didn't want to make things awkward, especially in front of birthday girl. But how should I deal with things next time this happens? For a bit more context: I am currently on an extended mat leave so no income. And him and his wife are top earners and earn more than any of us."
Many Mumsnet users shared their thoughts on the situation, with the majority agreeing that the friend did not split the bill correctly and was rude to bring his uninvited wife to the meal. One commented: "Totally unfair. But you should have said something at the time. Either email him, point out the numbers and be blunt that you feel he ripped you off, or don't invite him along in future."
Another wrote: "I’m amazed at the audacity of some people. Unless it’s an honest mistake and he is usually fair about things like this, I’d just chalk it to experience and not invite him again. I feel like even if you corrected his calculation, he may or may not agree.
"I appreciate the difference you are owed is almost another meal so it depends whether you are drawing his attention to it to make a point or for the money or both. I wouldn’t bother because I can’t stand people like this so happy to be shown what they are like! Albeit at a price!"
Another added: "I haven't worked it out exactly, but it's clearly wrong. I would message him and say you're confused about the bill and could he explain. Cheeky so and so." While one person said: "Was he aware he was treating the birthday girl to dinner? I'd contact him and tell him what you think was owed by each person and ask him to pay the difference."
However, some thought the woman was rude for being unwelcoming towards the wife. One person said: "It sounds like you and the other friend were the ones who decided to treat the birthday girl to dinner, then this guy decided to come. If he wasn't asked to help pay for the birthday girl's dinner ahead of time then I don't think he is obligated. It does sound like he wasn't aware of it.
"Also, I think it's rude to invite a married man out to dinner with the attitude that his wife is tagging along. Everyone I know would expect to bring their spouse to a social event with people of the opposite gender."
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