As I foolishly assumed, returning to exercise postpartum would be straightforward. Boy, was I wrong. Physically, I expected a rehab and recovery period. But it was the mental side of returning to movement that completely blindsided me.
As I was gearing up to run my first 10km race since having a baby, I decided to figure out why the mind can be our biggest obstacle. I tapped ASICS Ambassador and sports psychologist Meg McClurg to talk through the mental blocks, the slippery slope of self-criticism, and the exact tools we can use to rewrite our internal narrative.
A classic pre-run shot. (Image: Bree Grant)
Adjusting your expectations (and default brain circuits)
One of the biggest barriers to re-entering fitness after childbirth is managing expectation vs. reality. According to Meg, our brains are hardwired to run on “default circuits” built around our pre-pregnancy routines — making it easy to forget that the body needs time to catch up.
“You’re not using exercise to set PRs to start with. You’re using it to rebuild pelvic floor strength, support your mental health, and claim a bit of ‘me time,'” Meg explains. “It’s such a drastic shift, and your brain just can’t keep up as fast. Mentally, that’s one of the biggest barriers — our expectations are quite high, quite quickly. A big shift needs to happen around why we’re using exercise.”
Stopping the slippery slope of self-criticism
When you’re rebuilding fitness, it’s easy to fall into negative self-talk — especially if you’re used to operating at a high physical level. The secret to nipping that self-criticism in the bud? Practising true self-compassion.
“Self-compassion isn’t going, ‘Oh, you don’t feel like it today? That’s fine,'” says Meg. “It’s talking to yourself as you would talk to a friend: ‘I know you’re tired, but exercise is really good for your body, so let’s get out on the pavement today.’ And when you finish, going, ‘Gee, that was hard, but you did it. That’s awesome.'”
Far from letting yourself off the hook, self-compassion is about firm, encouraging coaching rather than harsh judgment.
“It’s meeting yourself where you are and becoming your own cheerleader — rather than saying, ‘Get out there, you piece of shit, you used to do this three times a day.’ Research shows self-compassion is just as (if not more) effective for achieving our goals.”
The shake out run was where the self-critism started to kick in. (Image: Bree Grant)
Understanding how the brain responds to harsh self-talk
When we get trapped in a loop of criticism, we unknowingly activate our brain’s threat system — making exercise feel vastly harder before we’ve even laced up our shoes.
“Criticism activates our fight-or-flight response,” Meg notes. “If you stack that on top of poor sleep, poor nutrition, and the stress of caring for a new baby, you’re running purely on survival mode — flooded with adrenaline and cortisol. You create a cycle of depletion.”
Once that stress cycle kicks off, finding the motivation to move becomes an uphill battle.
“The longer we’re in it, the harder it feels to get out. The earlier we can recognise, ‘Oh, I’ve just activated my threat response,’ the quicker we can break that cycle and shift our mindset.”
Pre-game strategies: Upstream prep & the “neutral focus hack”
Meg suggests establishing your mental strategies “upstream” (before your workout), because you can’t logically reason with yourself when you’re already gasping for air.
If positive mantras feel out of reach mid-workout, Meg recommends using a “neutral focus hack” to bypass the inner critic entirely.
“If negative self-talk creeps in, aim for something neutral in the middle,” Meg advises. “Focus entirely on the sound of your feet hitting the pavement or the rhythm of your music. Narrowing your attention to external sensations takes you away from the critic and calms your limbic system.”
And I hit a PB. (Image: Bree Grant)
Closing the gap & processing the “ugly part”
There is often a painful gap between where your fitness currently sits and where you think it should be. While high achievers try to “muscle through” this gap, Meg emphasises that true acceptance requires processing the underlying grief and frustration first.
“Getting from where you are to where you want to be organically involves processing a lot of heavy feelings,” Meg shares. “It might mean sitting in the shower and having a cry over the disappointment. To really hold acceptance, you have to process what that loss feels like. That’s the ugly part we do upstream.”
By acknowledging those emotions before you step out the door, you make space for a far more empowering run.
“The goal is to process those feelings beforehand, so you can stand at the starting line of a 10K and say, ‘It’s been a physical, mental, and emotional journey to get here — and I’m proud to be doing this today.'”
Why it’s okay to cry on a run
If you end up shedding tears during or after a workout, don’t panic — it’s actually science at work. Emotions are physiological experiences that physically reside in the body. Running acts as a natural pressure-release valve.
“Emotions originate and live in our bodies,” Meg explains. “I frequently use running as a tool if I’ve had a heavy emotional day at work. I’ll cry right through a run — not because I felt like crying beforehand, but because my body was holding that emotional weight. Running allows it to physically come out.”
Rebuilding your fitness postpartum isn’t just a physical reboot — it’s a whole mental rewiring process. Next time you step out the door, leave the pre-baby expectations at home, turn up your favourite song, and if you happen to shed a few tears by kilometre three? Embrace it. You’re not just running — you’re releasing, rebuilding, and showing up for yourself. And that is more than enough.
