Three in four mothers are now juggling work and home, one of the highest levels on record, according to official figures. But as new research commissioned by Maltesers shows, us mums are carrying one hell of a load.
It doesn’t help that many of us are working for organisations with traditionally masculine cultures. This means that traits such as ambition, competition and confidence are rewarded, while vulnerability and authenticity often fly under the radar, or are even thought to be signs of weakness. In such an environment, when a mother has to leave on time to pick up her child, she can be seen as a slacker.
But far from malingering, mothers often end up doing more work than they are paid for, if new research from Maltesers is anything to go by. “What many mums find is that although they have negotiated flexible or part-time hours, they end up doing more …” the report, Let’s Lighten the Load, states. “Our research shows that 67% of mums in the UK … work hours outside the schedule established on their work agreement.”
Other studies, such as those referenced below, are finding that being a mother boosts a woman’s skills in the workplace, and that “mum brain”, long said to make a new mother distracted and forgetful, actually signals cerebral changes that have a positive effect on abilities.
One of the recommendations from the research commissioned by Maltesers is to “accentuate the positives”, so here’s a list of six very transferable skills that mothers can bring into the workplace.
1 Greater patience and flexibility
At home, whether we’re hurrying the kids out the door, dealing with a domestic mishap or trying to manage a day that hasn’t gone to plan, mothers have to be quick to adapt to a constantly changing environment. That’s hugely valuable at work, too.
“While mums may, rightly, feel frustrated about the inflexibility of their work-family situation, the juggle that women become so skilled at brings them incredible tolerance and flexibility in problem solving and thinking,” says Emma Svanberg, clinical psychologist and author of Parenting for Humans.
2 Incredible time management
Parenting duties provide an essential reason for a hard stop at work, so organising our time effectively becomes an overnight skill.
Amelia Hindle, associate director at the accounting firm RSM, agrees: “Before having a baby, I often stayed in the office late as work took priority over almost every aspect of my life. I now know that I must leave the office at a specific time to pick my son up, so I manage my time wisely throughout the day, prioritising urgent work and delegating appropriately so that I’m ready to go when I need to.”
3 Finely tuned risk radar
Whether we realise it or not, risk assessment is part of every job, so being able to anticipate problems ahead of time is a great transferable skill.
Suzanne Holt, a leadership coach who specialises in supporting mothers, says: “We used to associate ‘mum brain’ with a woman feeling fuzzy and forgetful. But as brain scanning technology has improved, we now have studies that show measurable positive changes in the areas of the brain involved in social cognition, empathy, assessing risk and predicting the behaviour of other people.”
4 Better at conflict resolution
When they are babies, our children’s primary method of communication doesn’t involve speech. So we have to learn – quickly – how to read them. Without realising it, we become adept at understanding the ways they express themselves non-verbally, which has a knock-on effect for the way we read adults too.
“We learn early in parenting to embrace a whole new range of practical and emotional skills,” says Svanberg. “This is reflected in rapid brain changes seen in new parents, who are sensitised to social cues and able to be highly adaptable. This leaves mums better attuned to non-verbal cues, which is highly useful in the context of conflict resolution.”
5 A person-centred approach comes naturally
It’s official – caring about our colleagues’ wellbeing is a good thing. And people who do that also tend to make brilliant leaders.
“There’s a process of fine tuning and strengthening the neural connections which make mums better at communicating, reading body language, spotting risk and understanding what other people are thinking and feeling,” says Holt. “These are all key skills for raising a young child – but they are also the soft skills which are really in demand for leaders.”
6 Excellent negotiation powers
“Mums make fantastic negotiators. If we can win over a toddler who wants that chocolate NOW, we can win that business contract on the best terms,” says marketing expert and business owner, Loretta Milan.
Milan makes a good point – just this morning I was caught up in a passionate negotiation with one of my kids, and I found myself detailing all the reasons it probably wasn’t a good idea to bring a sharp-edged rock into class. We compromised, and she took it all the way to school and left it safely in my hands before she ran inside.
One last thing …
The skills we develop as we become parents aren’t limited to mothers who give birth. “While some of the changes are attributed to pregnancy hormones, some of them are in response to the change in role for anyone spending intensive periods of time caring for a young child,” says Holt. In that sense, any parent could acquire those same skills.
“It’s time we started to recognise ‘mum brain’ as a leadership advantage,” she adds. And we think she’s right.
MALTESERS® in partnership with Comic Relief, is working towards a future where women no longer face injustice. Together, we’re working to lighten the load for working mums and help women thrive. Find out how
Mars Wrigley is donating £500,000 in 2023 to Comic Relief, operating name of Charity Projects, registered charity in England & Wales (326568) and Scotland (SC039730)
