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Crikey
World
Crystal Andrews

Who knows if they’re voting, but Americans sure are posting (including Ivanka Trump)

In Grand Rapids, Michigan, at his final rally of the 2024 election campaign, Donald Trump mused: “It’s unbelievable. Think of it. This is it. This is the last one that we’re gonna have to do.” Who is he talking to, his supporters and team, or himself? The instruments of democracy? Us?

We’re about to find out one way or another. While our own Charlie Lewis is filing more serious reports from Washington, here’s how the past 24 hours of the campaign have played out online.

Live, laugh, libmaxx

Kamala Harris ended her campaign with a final rally in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, complete with a celebrity line-up seemingly chosen to make millennials and gen Xers nostalgic for the Obama days and the “before times”: Lady Gaga! Ricky Martin! Fat Joe! Oprah! Katy Perry! A cheesy endorsement song by will.i.am!  

Was it Ricky Martin’s performance or Harris’ late (empty) committment to ending Israel’s war on Gaza that finally gave the internet permission to “lib out”? 

That’s what the kids are calling the abandonment of criticism of Harris’ platforms. Libbing out is, as internet journalist Taylor Lorenz explains, an “ironic embrace of mainstream Democratic politics, often by disillusioned young progressives. It is the process of abandoning all cynicism and wholeheartedly accepting the elitist, corporate-owned, deeply out of touch Democratic party, even if only for a moment.” See also: Libmaxxing

While the chronically online allow themselves to blissfully check out, other voters are, um, only just checking in. Google search traffic for “Who is running for president” and “Did Joe Biden drop out” sharply increased from November 3.

In good news for Harris’ chances with chaos agents and the dirtbag left, she did secure the vote of rapper Azealia Banks — who is alternately heralded as a loose cannon or a prophet, depending on the tweet — solely to keep “overrated ketamine addict” Elon Musk out of American politics. 

Trump Watch

The question is not if Trump will try to claim an early victory and stop the vote count, but when. In the early-morning hours in Michigan (his rally didn’t end until 2am), he was watering the seeds of doubt sown among his base:

Elon Musk told me machines don’t work because they’re easily violated. Now this is the smartest guy in the world … But if you used paper, it’s 8% the cost of the other, it’s more accurate and you don’t have 12 day waits. We want the answer tomorrow [the crowd corrects him, as it’s well past midnight] — tonight. We want the answer tonight! … There’s just — something is going on with this. What the hell are they doing? But we don’t want to wait 10 days, 12 days, three days, two days, or two hours. We want the answer tonight.

How early? Some commentators suggest he’ll call it for himself as early as 10.30pm ET (2.30pm AEDT). The legal battles over completing the count in key states like Georgia have already begun

Trump seems irate — whether more or less than usual is hard to say. Perhaps it’s because the stock price of Trump Media crashed (temporarily) this morning? While casting his vote in Palm Beach, Florida, Trump lashed out at Fox News for playing clips of Oprah’s speech from the Harris rally “all morning long”. “It’s a disgrace! Everyone thinks Fox is so pro-Trump. They’re not pro-Trump at all.”

At least his wife Melania was by his side, for only the third time in this entire campaign. It’s more than can be said for Ivanka Trump, who ultimately kept good on the promise she made two years ago to step out of politics. She did not attend any of her father’s campaign events — not even the Women for Trump rally in Reading, Pennsylvania

On election eve, Ivanka took to Twitter to post… a birthday thread reflecting on the 17 life lessons she has learnt so far, referencing Marcus Aurelius, Carl Jung (twice), Epictetus and Dolly Parton. 

Ivanka and husband Jared Kushner will, however, be at Mar-a-Lago on election night. As will Elon Musk — as good a sign as any to stay off Twitter.

Finally… in memoriam 

We must say farewell to some key political figures gone too soon. First, Peanuts, the Instagram-famous squirrel who became a right-wing martyr after being euthanised by “New York Democrats”.

Next, Kamala the elephant, who was living at the Smithsonian’s National Zoo in Washington DC and died suddenly on election eve — presumably due to an influx of MAGA prayers wishing ill upon Harris. The thing about wishes is you gotta be specific!

And lastly, the thoughts and prayers of political tragics appear to have saved The New York Times’ election “Needle” from almost certain death. The publication’s technology guild is currently striking for better pay and conditions, and the live results that the Needle displays require the support of engineers. At the last minute, the Needle went live — but the guild remains on strike.

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