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As the viral discourse surrounding “trad wives” – a label applied to women who adopt traditional roles of motherhood and homemaking – continues to rage online, one woman has been thrust into the spotlight after a viral article gave fans a glimpse into the not-so-idyllic underbelly of trad wife content.
Hannah Neeleman, also known by her social media username Ballerina Farm, is a 34-year-old mother of eight living in Utah. She’s gained 17m followers across her Instagram and TikTok accounts, where she posts content of her daily life with her husband, Daniel Neeleman, and their children on their 328-acre farm.
Throughout much of her content, Neeleman is seen wearing gingham-patterned aprons and smocks as she makes recipes from scratch, tends to their livestock, and sells raw milk and sourdough starter on their Ballerina Farm website. She even made headlines earlier this year when she competed in the Mrs. World pageant just 12 days after giving birth.
While Neeleman has been quietly mentioned in discussions about “trad wife” influencers in the past, namely alongside fellow content creator Nara Smith, that all took a turn when The Times published an in-depth profile on Neeleman, titled “Meet the queen of the ‘trad wives’ (and her eight children).”
Now, the viral article – written by Megan Agnew – has people on the internet claiming that “trad wife” content may be not as perfect as what is portrayed on social media.
Who is Hannah Neeleman?
The content creator’s social media persona, Ballerina Farm, comes from her previous career as a ballerina at the Juilliard School in New York City. Neeleman, who was raised a devout Mormon in Utah, practices the same faith with her husband and their eight children. When asked about the “trad wife” label in her interview, Neeleman maintained that she doesn’t identify with the internet trend.
“I don’t necessarily identify with it because we are traditional in the sense that it’s a man and a woman, we have children, but I do feel like we’re paving a lot of paths that haven’t been paved before,” she said. “So for me to have the label of a traditional woman, I’m kinda like, ‘I don’t know if I identify with that.’”
Neeleman explained to the outlet that she left home at age 17 for New York City, where she studied dance at the prestigious performing arts school. “I was a good ballerina,” she said. “But I knew that when I started to have kids my life would start to look different.”
Who is her husband, Daniel Neeleman?
Daniel, 35, also grew up in a Mormon family in Connecticut. He is the son of David Neeleman, the billionaire founder of several commercial airlines, including JetBlue. Daniel and his future wife first met when they were introduced by a mutual friend at a college basketball game, when she was 23 years old at the time. While Daniel recalled wanting to date Neeleman right away, she reportedly wouldn’t agree to going on a date until six months after they connected.
Their first date came after Daniel learned Neeleman would be taking a JetBlue flight from Salt Lake City to New York, and he pulled some strings in order to be assigned the seat next to her on the flight. “I made a call,” he recalled to the outlet.
The couple were married just three months after their first date, and soon began expanding their family. Neeleman even made “modern history” as the first undergraduate to be pregnant while studying at Juilliard.
Now, the pair are parents to sons Henry, 12; Charles, 10; and George, nine, as well as daughters Frances, seven; Lois, five; Martha, three; Mabel, two; and Flora, one.
Why is there so much uproar over Ballerina Farm?
Since the Times article was published, many people online have shared their shocked reactions to certain aspects of Neeleman’s traditional lifestyle – much of which she hadn’t disclosed to her millions of social media followers.
For one, the content creator revealed that she has no childcare to help her with the daily duties of raising eight children. She cooks every meal from scratch and “sometimes gets so ill from exhaustion that she can’t get out of bed for a week.”
Neeleman had opted out of taking pain-relievers when giving birth to nearly all of her children. That is, except for her daughter Martha, who was born in a hospital instead of their usual home birth. Speaking to the Times, Neeleman admitted that she “got an epidural” during Martha’s birth because she was two weeks overdue and already 10 pounds. She reportedly lowered her voice when her husband wasn’t in the room, describing giving birth with an epidural as an “amazing experience.”
“It was kinda great,” she added.
As for her passion for dance, Neeleman had initially planned on converting the small barn on their farm into a ballet studio. However, the space was instead turned into a schoolroom for her children.
Neeleman explained to the outlet that she and her husband “sacrificed a lot” during the first few years of their marriage, though Agnew was skeptical as to what sacrifices Daniel had given up to become homesteaders. “Well, I gave up dance, which was hard. You give up a piece of yourself,” Neeleman replied, adding: “And Daniel gave up his career ambitions.”
Following the publication of the article, many readers took to the comments section of Ballerina Farm’s Instagram account to share their mixed opinions about the piece.
Under Neeleman’s most recent post, which was shared four days ago, one user wrote: “Hannah! Please take time for yourself, you DESERVE things for yourself. You deserve to be happy.”
“I’m so sorry you get so ill from exhaustion that you end up bedridden for a week. You should have the help you need,” another fan said. “The article was beyond sad. I’m sorry you don’t have help.”
A third commenter wrote: “You deserve better.”
However, others were quick to defend Neeleman in the comments section. “Hannah, I read the article and just wanted you to know that not all of us are falling for the bias and agenda that the journalist had! We aren’t judging you.”
“I’m so sorry to Hannah for all these commenters who can’t see through the agenda of the writer of that article,” wrote someone else. “I can’t imagine letting someone into my home to be treated that way. Praying for your family.”
Speaking about the “trad wife” phenomenon on the Times’ “The Story” podcast, Agnew explained that Neeleman told her she wanted “to show other women that it is possible” to achieve her “idyllic” homesteading lifestyle.
“But it is not possible,” Agnew maintained. “It is not possible to live this life because not everyone can be a social media star. This life is for social media and financially enabled by social media.”
