White Moose Cafe owner has shared some hilarious Leaving Cert advice ahead of the exams.
Paul Stenson is known for his controversial posts on social media and this time he is speaking to young people sitting their exams, which kick off tomorrow.
He admitted that he sat the exams twice and got less points the second time around.
Read more: Aldi shopper changed her trolley - and it transformed her shopping experience
He gave tips to students from drinking shots before heading into exams to writing the answers on your arm and reading them while you’re having a poo.
He said: “The Leaving Cert is one of the most significant examinations you'll sit over the course of your life.
“Here are my tips for anyone commencing their exams tomorrow.”
1. Forget about studying. If you don't know it now, you'll never know it. Go to the cinema or meet your mates for a few pints.
2. Write as much information as possible on your arms and legs with a sharpie marker so when you go to do a poo mid-exam you'll have some light reading material.
3. Have a shot of vodka or a spliff before you enter the exam hall. It will get the creative juices flowing.
4. Drink as much coffee as possible before the exam. Remember coffee is a diuretic meaning it will make you pee. The more you pee, the more you can check up on your anatomical sharpie notes.
5. Remember you must stay in the exam hall for at least 30 minutes after the exam commences. When the clock strikes 30, try to make your exit from the hall as loud and dramatic as possible so as to alert your classmates that the time has come for them to leave too.
6. The exam paper is yours to keep. Make sure you bring it home with you so you can give it to your dog to eat while the rest of your classmates are still sitting the exam. This was very gratifying for me.
7. Befriend the invigilator. Shake their hand and offer them cash (or some other form of valuables) if at all possible. They will be less inclined to watch you when you're copying your mate.
Paul added: “Never forget: Failing the Leaving Cert is not the end of the world. Bill Gates and Richard Branson failed most of their exams.
“Don't let the Leaving Cert define your life. It shouldn't.
“P.S. You can always repeat. I repeated and got less points the second time round.”
Read more: Explore historic Dublin family home transformed into new park
Read more: Beloved Viking Splash tour is back - and they’re hiring
Sign up to the Dublin Live Newsletter to get all the latest Dublin news straight to your inbox.
