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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Entertainment
Hannah Richell

When my husband died in a surfing accident, life as I knew it was destroyed. Ten years on, this is what I’ve learned about grief

Hannah Richell standing in front of a rock on Tamarama Beach, Sydney, Australia, where her husband was killed in a surfing accident
‘Grief is a sinkhole, opening up where real life once stood’: Hannah Richell at Tamarama beach. Photograph: David Maurice Smith/The Guardian

Before they enter the water, surfers will study the ocean. They consider wind and tide conditions. They analyse currents and patterns, break points and swells. They try to read the waves. I have travelled across oceans and a day to sit here on Tamarama beach in Sydney on a high-tide weekday morning in 2024. A notebook and pen lie beside me on the sand as I, too, attempt to read the waves, to find meaning in their unfathomable churn.

These past 10 years, this beach has loomed large in my mind. Even when absent, it’s as if my face has been turned to these waves and I have been buffeted, sometimes staggering, sometimes falling, always bracing for the next set to roll in. For I have learned that all it takes is one ocean, one day, to come along and knock you off your feet.

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