The Year the Ground Shifts Under Both of You
You are not the same person you were before the phone call. You know this. What surprises you is that your spouse is also not the same, and that their version of changed looks nothing like yours. You expected to grieve together. Instead, you are grieving in the same house, in the same bed, and somehow in completely separate rooms.This is the thing nobody tells you about loss in a marriage: it doesn't pull two people toward each other automatically. Sometimes it pulls them in opposite directions, each person following the current of their own grief, each convinced the other one is doing it wrong.
