Once a simple and joyous occasion to celebrate with friends and family, birthday dinners are now often laden with the expectation of splitting hefty bills, leading to mounting frustration among guests. The once straightforward tradition has evolved into a complex affair, where the pressure to contribute equally can overshadow the celebration itself.
As more people voice their dissatisfaction with this practice, it's worth exploring when and why birthday dinners took on such an extravagant, and often contentious, twist.
Just like in the famous sitcom "Friends", where the trio of the group with less paying jobs protest equal payment of bills, people now have also started voicing out their own opinions on the dinner bill when some diners order far more expensive dishes than others.
Real Life Scenario
One TikTok user, @viccgotti, went viral for sharing a video where a group of people at a birthday dinner had taken to yelling at each other at a five-star restaurant over splitting the bill. In a later video, @viccgotti shared that the bill for said birthday dinner racked up to over $4,000, justifying his reaction.
In the video, the user is seen shouting at a group of people.
"I'm only paying for what's on the check," he said. "I'm not splitting the bill."
His friend then stood up and joined the argument, pointing to others at the table and saying, "My thing is, you got lamb chop, you got steak, you got mussels," indicating the hefty expenses associated with some of the dishes ordered by members of the party.
One of the women on the receiving side of the argument joined the fray, shouting back at the user behind the camera.
"We come together, we split the bill. Period." She said.
"We didn't order all (of) that!" The user shouted in response.
The firey argument went viral on TikTok, garnering over 18 million views and 1.4 million likes. The comments were filled with users sharing their varying opinions on the matter, with some calling the men in the video "cheap," and others taking their side.
"Pay my bill and split the bday person bill. Everyone pay their own bill except bday person. Should have discussed this beforehand," one user wrote.
"4600? Y'all could have got a caterer, DJ, and Airbnb," another commenter said.
In a similar situation, a Reddit user shared the expected payment that arose from a friend's birthday situation, which amounted to over $500 per person because of the bill being split. The user wrote that they attended a fancy dinner and went out for drinks after, expecting the check to come out to around $300 per person, due to the quality of the food. They were shocked when the wife of the celebrated sent out the split bill for the dinner and drinks, which ended up being $540 per person.
"I'm pretty offended that it wasn't communicated ahead of time that this meal was going to be a f--ing mortgage payment," the user wrote.
A Shift In Sentiment
Discourse in favour of individual tabs has been ramping up on TikTok. Although this debate is not new, recent waves of videos have viralised the issue. Users are increasingly vocal about the unfairness of even splits, especially when others order significantly more expensive items.
TikToker @finegalnopimple highlighted the issue in a video with over 3.2 million views. "I feel like some people use this as a way to get over on others," she said.
Another user, @remiandaryan, described a time when she was asked to pay $150 at a $50-a-head birthday dinner because other guests left early without paying. This video garnered over 2 million views and sparked outrage among viewers.
TikTok comedian @ikeslimester compared birthday dinners to charity galas, likening the sentiment for ordering a meal for one, then asking to donate to UNICEF on top of your own bill.
The Economic Factor
The increasing discomfort with bill splitting is partly fueled by economic pressures. As the cost of living rises, people are more conscious of their spending. TikTok videos about financial struggles and the rising cost of essentials garner significant attention, reflecting a broader shift towards frugality.
Moreover, technology has made paying individually even easier. Apps like Splitwise enable seamless bill splitting, reducing the hassle and making the practice more appealing. A 2022 Forbes report noted that economic pressures drive Americans to rely on these apps more than ever.
Changing Etiquette
Nick Leighton, co-host of the etiquette podcast "Were You Raised by Wolves?", suggests that questioning the norm of even splits is reasonable. "An invitation is not an invoice, and people are simply tired of feeling fleeced," he told Business Insider.
Leighton advises that while it's polite to split the bill among friends with similar orders, asking for separate checks is within the bounds of etiquette. If separate checks are not possible, the event organizer should handle the bill and get reimbursed later, using apps like Plates or Splitwise to calculate each person's share.
The Social Media Consensus
The conversation on TikTok reveals a consensus forming around the preference for individual tabs. The hashtag #groupdinner, boasting 9.6 million views, hosts numerous videos from people expressing their frustrations with even splits at group events. Many commenters support the idea of paying only for what they ordered to avoid feeling disrespected or exploited.
Some users defend the traditional even split, viewing it as a "social fee" for the group dining experience. However, the prevailing sentiment is that paying for one's own meal is fairer, especially in light of current economic issues.
Moving Forward
For those planning group dinners, clear communication is key. Hosts should inform guests beforehand about any potential extra costs, allowing them to decide whether to attend based on their financial situation.
As 2024 progresses, it seems individual tabs will become more common. The shift is not just about fairness but also about adapting to new social and economic realities. So, don't be surprised if your next dinner invitation includes a note about separate checks—it's simply a sign of the times.
